


The Hollow Cafe

by jynx



Series: The Hollow Cafe [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boston, Family Feels, M/M, Not Related, Ori Is A Sass Master, Polyamory, Sick Character, Slow Build, Weird family dynamics, auto immune disorder, break ups are hard, especially when they might not be break ups, fili is a baker, fili's coffee is to die for, kili really really likes sex, nanowrimo 2013, so is ori, tags updated as i go, they dont know each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-31
Updated: 2013-12-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 00:36:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1025259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jynx/pseuds/jynx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything changes when Kili Haegan walks into The Hollow Cafe. Fili Durn doesn't think his life will ever be the same.</p><p>[STORY NOW COMPLETE]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so. I've whined and dithered to various people about how I kind of hate both Glass Arrows and Paradox because neither ended up being the story I wanted to tell. Yeah, they're okay enough stories. I know a lot of people love Glass Arrows (yay~) and hope a lot of that will carry over to this one.
> 
> Some things are going to be directly from Glass Arrows (Bard, Thranduil, some other things) and some will be from Paradox (Kili's ink and metal, yum~). Other things will be new. So far I'm really liking where I'm going with this and hope you all will try and stay with me for the whole ride. This IS for National Novel Writing Month (50k in 30 days, yeah we can do that) and will probably be updated every day. If not, it's because I'm still chaptering things together. Check the tumblr (jynxwrites) for snips and stuff if nothing has been posted. 
> 
> So, I hope you all enjoy. :)

Fili stared absently at the brunet in the corner booth. He had his hair up in a messy half bun, half ponytail and with a pencil, a pen, and a highlighter stuck in it. Every few minutes the brunet would look up from his reading to search frantically around himself before his hands flew up to his hair and he pulled out a pen or a highlighter. When he had come in it had been with a stuffed messenger bag with papers hanging out and a change of clothes, looking tired and frazzled. He'd ordered his coffee from Ori while Fili finished up with an impatient personal assistant who was getting coffee for the entire office like the suck up he probably was. Fili had watched as the brunet had dug for his wallet and ended up spilling his cards all over the counter before handing his card to Ori and staking out the booth.

"His name is Kili," Ori offered, cleaning the counter. "He looks like he could use a refill."

"Uh?" Fili said, straightening from where he had been slouching.

"I think he's drinking a mocha or a red eye, I can't remember," Ori said innocently. "Why don't you go ask?"

"Why don't you check the system and get it for him yourself?" Fili demanded.

"Oh," Ori said, chewing his lip and looking panicked. "I think I forgot to plug in what he had."

"Liar," Fili accused.

Ori smiled brightly. "Yes I am. Now stop mooning and go ask him what he's drinking."

Fili glanced over at the table where Kili was distractedly looking for his coffee cup and looking dismayed once he found it empty. He hesitated and started making one of the drinks he was known for at the shop. He took his time, hands shaking slightly, and added a little more coffee than he would normally because the guy looked like he could use it. He reached for a cardboard sleeve and saw the sharpie sitting next to the basket and froze. He wasn't good with verbalizing words but writing them...

He grabbed the sharpie and tilted the cup a little: EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT. He slipped the sleeve on and wiped his hands on a towel and brought it over.

"Here," he said. "On the house."

Kili blinked up at him with wide brown eyes. They were gorgeous, like chocolate and caramel and oh dear god he was sounding like a teenaged girl in his own head. But the smile of relief Kili gave him was beautiful. 

"Thanks!" Kili said. He took a sip and blinked down at the white lid cover. "What is this? Because I think I need to marry it."

"Uh," Fili said intelligently. "Uh, Ori--my coworker--couldn't remember your order and said it might have been a red eye or a mocha so. Uh. This is a light roasted coffee with caramel and apple syrups we make here and a shot of espresso and cream."

Kili stared at him. "I never thought coffee was so much work."

Fili shrugged. "I can make this stuff in my sleep." He smiled a little. "Let me know if you would like another."

Kili nodded, taking another sip. Fili saw, with curiosity, that he had his ears pierced. Kili glanced over at Fili again, the coffee cup lid resting against his lip, smiling at Fili and winking before looking down at his notes. Fili walked away stiffly and rapidly, blushing and trying to slow his heart. Ori was waiting for him by the counter, looking very impressed.

"Didn't think you had the balls for it," Ori said.

"What, you thought I'd be defeated by the hot guy?"

"Hot guys are always the villains," Ori said wisely and a nod of his head.

"You read too many comics," Fili said. He glanced over at Kili, watching as the guy pulled out a laptop and started typing as he sipped his coffee. Fili flushed, feeling the tingle of pleasure before he fled into the back to make up a batch of apple fritters.

:::

The next time Kili came in he waved to Ori but waited for Fili to be free. He was dressed in blue scrubs with a white long-sleeved shirt but still carried his extremely stuffed messenger bag. He looked tired but much less frazzled than before, and Fili could see that he had both his ears pierced multiple times and he could have sworn that he saw something silver when Kili licked his lips. Fili watched, almost flubbing a simple caramel latte, as Kili pulled out his ponytail and tied it back again.

He was slightly screwed.

Once he was free Kili stepped up and smiled blindingly at him. Fili felt his heart stutter in his chest as he smiled back.

"So apparently you're kind of a thing around here," Kili said as he leaned against the counter. "I mentioned this shop and four different interns started shouting at me about your coffee. You are impossibly coffee magic."

"Interns?" Fili asked, wiping his trembling hands on the towel he kept tucked into his apron.

"Are you a medical student?" Ori asked, leaning against Fili and smiling at Kili.

"What gave me away?" Kili asked, turning his smile on Ori.

"The amazingly unsexy scrubs," Ori said.

Kili's eyes widened slightly before smirking wickedly. "You think there's such a thing as sex scrubs?"

"Yes," Ori said promptly. "The ones on my bedroom floor."

Kili blinked. Fili turned to stare. Ori smiled innocently.

"Was that an invitation?" Kili asked.

Ori shrugged and pushed away from Fili to go help another customer. "Only if you want it to be."

Fili watched him go with a sinking feeling in his gut. Kili looked interested. Hadn't Ori told him to go for it? He cleared his throat and turned to smile at Kili. "Did you want me to make you something?" he asked.

Kili jerked back and nodded, reaching out to tap Fili's chest. "You're the magic coffee man," he said. "Make me something fantastic."

Fili looked down at Kili's hand and then back up at the other man. "Uh, yeah. Okay." He took a step back and over to the espresso machines and looked around. Something fantastic... He started preparing the drink, going for caffeine and taste. Kili was watching him curiously as he grabbed a lemon and peeled some of the rind, dropping it and a sugar cube into the bottom of a small fluted glass and then followed it with a shot of espresso.

"What is it?" Kili asked, taking the cup from Fili.

"Just a standard Romano," Fili said, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Want me to open a tab for you?"

Kili laughed, "You guys have tabs here? Like you do at bars?"

"Of course," Fili said, trying to act casual. He knew he was probably failing miserably, his smile strained, posture curled in on himself. Such a hopeless case. Why would the hot guy go for Fili when he could probably have his pick of anyone in the city? "We also have food and on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday do alcoholic coffees, teas, and specialty liquors and have live music or movie screenings. Depends what we all feel like. Last month we had a Trivial Pursuit competition for the whole weekend. It was pretty cool."

"It has officially been decided, I need to have a weekend off so I can come check this place out," Kili said with a wide smile. "Do you guys do open mic nights too?"

Fili shook his head. "No. There's a tiny hole in the wall bar near Berklee that does one instead. There is such a thing as too many open mic nights and poetry slams."

Kili cackled. "You're insanely opinionated, aren't you?"

"Not insanely," Fili said.

Kili opened his mouth to respond when his phone went off, a dub step version of the Halloween movie theme, and he winced. "Oops," he murmured, setting the espresso down and picking his phone up. Fili busied himself with cleaning up the espresso machine. They'd just opened and the morning rush would be starting soon. Kili sounded aggravated by the phone call and agreed to something before hanging up and sticking his phone in his bag. "Can I get the Romano to go?" he asked.

Fili nodded and took the small cup, putting it in a small to-go cup for Kili. He handed it back to the other man and shook his head when Kili offered him a twenty. "I'll add it to your tab."

"You're awesome," Kili said and stuck the twenty in the tips jar. "I'm working the graveyard shift again so I'll see you tomorrow too."

"You're welcome anytime," Fili said, trying to ignore the fluttery feeling in his chest when Kili winked at him and left.

:::

"Your son is a brat," Kili said when he flopped on the bed. "He called me because he knew I'd be up already and much more likely to do his bidding than you."

Thranduil chuckled and turned over in bed to face Kili. "He misses you."

"Because of the rotation I got stuck on? That's hardly my fault."

"No, but he is inventing many trivial issues that require your assistance and no one else's."

Kili groaned and rolled, burying his face in Thranduil's neck. "When did he get so spoiled?"

Thranduil smiled and started pushing and pulling at Kili's clothes, easily getting him out of his scrubs and tugging him under the covers. Kili hummed happily, the warmth of the covers and Thranduil's sleep-warm skin exactly what he needed right then. He was still awake, the Romano he'd grabbed earlier a decent boost to his system, but Thranduil was very convincing sometimes.

"When do you have to go to work?" Kili asked, biting his lip as Thranduil ran his hands along Kili's arms.

"I called in sick," Thranduil said, leaning in and kissing Kili slowly. "Legolas is not the only one who's missed you."

Kili opened his mouth to respond but moaned instead as Thranduil kneaded his ass and pulled him in closer. "Fuuuuh...yeah, okay, I can deal with being missed."

Thranduil laughed and leaned in, nibbling along Kili's neck. "I plan on showing you all day how much I've missed you."

"I've got homework to do," Kili warned as he was manhandled and a hand wrapped around his rapidly swelling cock. "B-but I could be convinced to ignore it."

Thranduil smiled and slid under the covers, hand still moving as Kili arched against it, only to have it replaced with hot, wet heat. Kili's hands flew up to the headboard, gripping the wooden slats tightly as he gave into the older man's talented tongue.

:::

"Would you stop pouting at me?" Ori asked. "I was hitting on him, so what?"

"You're the one who told me to go for it!" Fili said as they got into the apartment. "Why tell me to and then, I mean. Ori!"

Ori sighed and toed off his sneakers and watched as Fili headed into the kitchen. "You are emoting worse than a sixteen year old girl, just to let you know. I wanted to see if he was bi or gay or fluid or whatever. You never would and your gaydar is broken."

"Probably because I'm not gay," Fili said as he dug into the fridge. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Can we order out?" Ori asked. "I want Indian and you suck at making it. We can make Nori pick it up."

Fili let his head thump against the fridge. "Ori."

"Hot guy," Ori said as he dug around in one of the kitchen drawers they had set aside for take out menus. "You dated that one guy back in college and then there was Violet and you kind of lost it over her."

"Yeah, well. I learned my lesson there."

"No," Ori said, pulling out the menu and laying it out on the counter. "You stopped dating. She cheated on you six times in the one year you two were together. And you, you don't do anything now. You work at the cafe and dick around with your pet project cars and that's it. You need all the help you can get."

Fili looked at Ori and came over to scan the menu. "So you're gonna vet Kili for me. All the way to his bed?"

Ori shrugged. "No. Not to his bed. But I'll make sure he's good enough and work on setting you guys up."

"You do realize that plan could backfire? He might, maybe, just maybe, think you're interested in him and are actually into dating him."

Ori shrugged. "There is that chance but I'm confident. Besides, he's more your type than mine. I'm not a fan of tattoos and piercings."

"Wait, what?" Fili asked, staring at Ori.

"Kili? Definitely has his tongue pierced. And he's got his ears and who knows what else," Ori said. "He's got a tattoo on his wrist and two on his fingers. I'm sure he has more too."

"How'd I miss that?" Fili asked weakly.

Ori shrugged and snagged his phone. "Should I tell Nori to make sure Dwalin picks up some Shipyard and vodka?"

"You turning this into a party?" Fili asked, marching an eyebrow. 

Ori grinned and nudged Fili with his shoulder. "This is cause for celebration! You are actually interested in someone. Whether it's cuz you wanna bone him or woo him, it's still a good thing. If I tell Nori that, though, he'll go get a cake and Dwalin will probably buy Hubba Hubba out of lube and condoms. Cuz, you know, it's about time."

"You know everyone thinks you're the quiet, nerdy type. That Dori sheltered you so much that you don't even know what sex is," Fili said.

"I am quiet and nerdy," Ori said. "I just think it's a shame you let the bitch twist you up. You deserve everything and more."

:::

Kili languished on the island in the kitchen while Thranduil moved around him. "It's a shame you're a tea snob, I think you'd like this place."

"I am not a tea snob," Thranduil said, walking by and popping a grape in Kili's mouth. "I just find that if you're looking for a decent cup and the company in which to enjoy that cup than you might as well attend high tea at Taj Boston. Speaking of--"

"No," Kili said, drawing out the o and sliding off the island. "No. Nope. Not even. Don't try it."

"Your sister--"

"Yep, those words, the words you never want to utter while trying to get in my pants."

"I've already been 'in your pants', Kili," Thranduil said, leaning against the counter. "Several times just today. Now, I thought you were going to be mature about this."

Kili stretched, ignoring the way Thranduil eyed him...though he did cock his hip as he came out of his stretch, the loose waist of his lounge pant hanging off of him. "I am being very mature about this. My sisters are evil. They showed you pictures of the torture they inflicted upon me--"

"You did look smashing in that purple dress," Thranduil said with a badly suppressed smile.

"And you want me to play nice with them," Kili said.

"You're pouting."

"I have every right to pout," Kili said. "And, just for bringing them up, I've got studying to do."

"Legolas will be home in three hours. He has practice after school. He will be quite upset if you get all your schoolwork done and don't at least pretend to be doing yours while he does his," Thranduil said. He came up behind Kili and nuzzled his neck, hands wrapped around Kili's hipbones. "Come finish cooking with me and tell me more about this coffee shop you've discovered."

Kili rolled his eyes. "I hate you."

Thranduil laughed aloud at that. "No you don't, but you can pretend to if you want to."

:::

"Good morning," Fili said with a smile as Kili waved to him and covered his yawn. "I'm assuming you're going to want something caffeinated."

Kili nodded, smiling once he had finished yawning. "Something like the first time, yeah? I want a floozy coffee drink."

"Floozy?" Fili asked, trying not to smile.

Kili wrinkled his nose and leaned over, planting his elbows on the counter and resting his chin in his hands. "Floozy. Girlie. The awesome flavored drinks people go around pretending to be horrified to see other people drinking when they are, in all honesty, so much tastier than anything else out there."

"You drink appletinis, don't you?" Fili asked. He turned, reaching for a cup and one of the bottles of dark chocolate.

"You should come out with me and a few of the guys from the hospital some time," Kili said. "Then you could see for yourself."

Fili almost dropped the bottle but continued pouring it and painting the sides before putting it down. "I think I'd like that."

"Awesome," Kili said. "I think we're gonna hit up Scholar's next time. It's a bar on School Street, where the big ass Borders used to be."

Fili reached for the pumpkin pie syrup and the cinnamon. "Didn't they turn that into a Walgreens?"

"Yeah," Kili said. "A massive Walgreens with froyo and a juice bar to die for. They're trying to clean up downtown, make it less of a rundown nightmare tourists cringe at while walking the trail." Fili glanced at him and Kili grinned. "My best friend is a tour guide for the Trail."

"Does he dress up?" Fili asked, pouring in the espresso, cream, and just a tiniest bit of cocoa.

"He does," Kili said with a snicker. "I try not to make fun of him too often or he'll bring me the wrong cupcakes."

"Wrong...?" Fili asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Sweet and Cakeology have shops like, within spitting distance. I like Sweet, Bard likes Cakeology. Sweet has better frosting and I can admit that Cakeology has better cake--or at least airier--but their frosting makes me sad."

"Okay, so you're a frosting snob and you like the tasty drinks," Fili said. He added a dash more of the pumpkin pie creamer which was mostly pumpkin, cream, nutmeg, and maple syrup to the coffee, finished it off with whipped cream and some chocolate shavings, and handed it to Kili. "What else should I know about you?"

Kili straightened and took a sip of his coffee and made a noise that Fili thought should be illegal. No noise like that should be made outside of the bedroom and definitely not over coffee. Kili looked at him with glee, licking the cream off his lips. "I think I'm falling in love with you," he said. Fili felt his heart stop cold. "I'm definitely in love with your coffee. What other tricks do you have up your sleeve, Fili?"

Fili coughed and rubbed the back of hi neck. "I. Uh. Well. You--uh. You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?"

Kili grinned at him and took another drink of his coffee before dodging a couple of angry looking businesswomen and snagging a booth for himself. Ori saw him watching and laughed as they manned their battle stations for another weekday morning full of serving coffee to half-awake Bostonians.

"Hi, welcome to The Hollow, what can I get for you this morning?"


	2. Chapter 2

Fili smiled and stood, waving his hand, when he saw Kili come in. The other man was scanning the crowd and lit up when he saw Fili. He waved back and started over toward him with a wide smile. It was different, seeing him out of scrubs and not insane with stress and if Fili had thought Kili was attractive before it was nothing compared to what he was now. He had on a pair of black jeans, clunky boots, a plain blue t-shirt, and a leather jacket. 

A leather jacket.

Fili wanted nothing more than to grab him by the lapels and drag him in for a kiss. ...he kind of had a thing for leather jackets, ever since high school when he’d seen _Rebel Without A Cause_ and James Dean. Kili, though, was no James Dean but he was still insanely hot in that leather jacket. Fili almost felt under dressed in his jeans, flannel, and white t-shirt but only a little.

"Hey," Kili said as he threw himself sideways into the booth. "Hope you weren't waiting long."

Fili shook his head, sitting down. "No, not really."

"The red line is murder sometimes," Kili said. He shrugged off the leather jacket and pushed it aside. “Either I just make it or I have to wait and wait.”

“Wouldn’t know,” Fili said. “I’m stuck on the green.”

Kili arched a brow. “Really,” he said, a slow smile on his face. “Richie rich, eh? Green line is all the fancy places that cost some serious organs.”

“Not with two roommates,” Fili pointed out, smiling. A dark sense of humor, eh? He could get behind that.

Kili shrugged, “Okay, good point. Where on the green?”

“Brookline Village,” Fili said. “Good old D train. Worst thing out there.”

Kili wrinkled his nose. “I once spent forty minutes waiting for a D train. I may work at Beth Israel but I take the crosstown bus to get to work.”

“I’m not far from the stop or I would too, take a bus I mean,” Fili said. He smiled at the waitress as she set down two glasses of water and took their drink orders. Kili rambled off some order that left Fili blinking at him and the waitress laughing. “What…?”

“Shipyard Pumpkinhead with a shot of vanilla vodka and a sugar rim,” Kili repeated. He was grinning. “Remember I said I had a thing for frufru drinks? That extends to my beer too. Though, really, I can’t credit for that one. One of my TAs last year told me about it and I’ve just kind of always gotten it whenever Pumpkinhead is out. He used to be a bartender somewhere and he passed on a lot of awesome drinks to our class.”

Fili laughed and shook his head. “All right then. Pumpkin and vanilla, never would have thought.”

“It’s really good,” Kili said. 

He looked so earnest that Fili couldn’t resist being a little charmed byt it. He cleared his throat a little and cracked his knuckles. “So where on the red do you live?” Fili asked.

Kili grinned, biting his lip. “Harvard.”

Fili’s eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me?”

Kili laughed. “I live with someone who teaches there.”

“Yeah, okay then, richie rich,” Fili said. He picked up his water and took a sip, watching Kili laugh some more. “Do you go to Harvard for school?”

“Yeah,” Kili said, drawing out the word. “I’ve got a brain on me.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Fili said. He was fiddling with the corner of the menu. “What kind of medicine are you studying?”

“Pathology,” Kili said. “I want to go into forensics, I think, be a medical examiner. I once thought it’d be glamorous to go work for the CDC but I’m pretty sure I’ve changed my mind. I kind of like staying in one place and putting down roots more than flitting from one end of the country to another, chasing infectious diseases.”

“That’s different,” Fili said. “Isn’t a medical examiner the one dealing with dead bodies?”

Kili grinned. “You are so judging me. C’mon, tell me more about you. How’d you get into coffee?”

“I’ve, uh, got a culinary degree,” Fili said. He tried a smile and blinked at the fascination on Kili’s face. “What?”

“What kind of degree?” Kili asked. 

“BA in baking and pastry art and service management,” Fili said. “Went to Johnson and Wales.”

“And you’re just in a little cafe?” Kili asked. “Isn’t that, like, one of the best colleges for culinary arts out there?”

“I like my little cafe,” Fili said. He balled up his paper napkin and tossed it at Kili, who laughed and threw it back. “The owner, Bilbo, is awesome and he’s...I don’t know. He’s very chill. He’s not in often because of some personal reasons but he’s still the boss.” Fili hesitated and smoothed out the napkin. “I told you that we have a lot of stuff going on there and most of that’s me. I think Bilbo’s probably going to need to take a more permanent step back soon and I hope he lets me take over.”

“So it’d be your place then,” Kili said. Fili nodded. “I think it’d be awesome. I know a lot of people already love your stuff and the medical community are caffeine junkies as a whole. The fact you’ve got a shop close to the medical centers, schools, and the trains and buses? Fenway? You’ve got the perfect location.”

“It’s not like that was any of my doing,” Fili pointed out.

Kili waved a hand and leaned back as their waitress placed their beers in front of them. They placed their orders, smiling and chatting with the waitress--Lisa--for a few moments before she left. “So you moved from Rhode Island to here?”

Fili nodded and took a big swallow of his Sam Adams Seasonal. “Yeah, about six years ago.”

“Six years…? How old are you?” Kili asked.

“Thirty,” Fili said. “You?”

Kili arched a brow. “Twenty-five.”

Fili laughed. “You’re a baby!”

Kili tossed a napkin at him. “You suck. I am not a baby. You’re only five years older than me. That’s not horrible. Bard, my best friend, is six years older than me. He calls me kid all the time. You have no idea how annoying it can get.”

“Is this the guy who is a Freedom Trail guide?” Fili asked.

Kili took a sip of his beer, tongue flicking out to lick at the sugar rim. “Yep. He’s ridiculous. He’s a historian so I guess the gig works for him. He also works at the JFK Archive in Dorchester. So why did you come to Boston?”

The night continued, the two of them talking about everything under the sun, the conversation fluid and natural. They kept talking and ordering beers, too involved in their conversation to really care or notice as the bar emptied. Lisa had already collected their check before her shift was over and they had a different waiter now, a gentleman who had already cleared their drinks and deposited the check on the table, but they couldn’t have cared less.

“Your sister is crazy,” Fili laughed, clapping and leaning back into the plush booth as he cackled.

“Oh man, that’s just Bella, you should meet the others. Dahlia is worse on so many levels,” Kili said with a wide grin.

A man in a crisp dress shirt and black pants cleared his throat as he stood in front of their booth. “Excuse me, gentlemen, we close at two...which was twenty minutes ago. I’m going to need you to settle your bill--”

Kili flicked out a card that looked very much like a black Amex and handed it over. “Sorry about that,” he said. “There any taxis still around?”

The manager--it had to be the manager--took the card and nodded. “The Omni Parker has a cab stand, sir.” He looked down at the card. “May I see your ID?”

Kili rolled his eyes and dug out his ID, also handing it over. The manager looked it over and then handed it back before vanishing with the card.

“Are you rich or something?” Fili asked, smiling widely.

“Nah,” Kili said. He winked. “I’ve got a sugar daddy. Though he’d kill me if I called him that to his face. Perks of the job, though.”

“Job?”

Kili waved his hand, snatching his water and taking a long sip before getting to his feet. “C’mon, taxis. So, any highly embarassing family stories you want to share with me?”

“I’m pretty sure you haven’t told me all the dirt on your family,” Fili said.

“I have four sisters,” Kili said. “I have enough dirty stories to fill a landfill, or maybe a cemetery.”

“That’s increasingly morbid,” Fili said. He watched as Kili shrugged on that ridiculously sexy leather jacket and they stopped at the bar. Kili signed the check, collected his card, and held the door open for Fili as they went out into the cold night air.

“It’s October,” Kili said. “Of course it’s morbid. God, I love this month. So much history, and it just feels right.”

“A fall fan, hunh?” Fili asked.

“You have no idea,” Kili said, smiling. He gave a little twirl and almost fell off his feet. He laughed, grabbing onto Fili as they continued up School Street to the Omni Parker House and their cab stand. “We need to do this again.”

“Which bit?” Fili asked. “The staying past closing part or meeting for drinks?”

“Both,” Kili said cheerfully. “Your turn to pick the place, though, since I did this one.”

Fili smiled. “I can work with that. You wanna share a cab back?”

Kili shook his head. “Nah, we’re heading in different directions.” He draped his taller, skinnier self along Fili’s back and side and hummed happily. “Lemme see your phone?” Fili handed it over, trying not to read into the way Kili paused and nuzzled his hair. “You smell really good,” Kili said. He did something to Fili’s phone and handed it back. “Text me, okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Fili said, watching as Kili pulled away. “Let me know you get home safe?”

“Ditto,” Kili said with a wide smile as he knocked on the window of an idling cab. Fili watched as he disappeared into it and then went to find his own.

:::

Thranduil woke up when the covers were pulled away from him. He blinked blearily into the dark and felt the familiar weight of Kili straddling his hips. He reached up, hands meeting hips and smiled. “How was he?”

“Dunno what you mean,” Kili said, leaning down and kissing Thranduil. “We got kicked out at closing time.”

Thranduil looked up at him, watching as Kili slithered his way out of his shirt and wondered when his predictable lover had gotten rid of the rest of his clothes. Usually Kili liked letting Thranduil undress him. “You spent the entire night talking?” he asked.

“He’s gorgeous,” Kili said as he started pulling at Thranduil’s boxers. “Short, muscled, blond, blue eyes. He’s all intense and restrained and fuck I want to get him in bed and see him lose control.”

“You have a thing for blonds,” Thranduil observed, letting Kili manhandle him until they were both naked. He rolled them over, smiling at Kili’s delighted laugh and the way they bodies fit together, they way Kili’s legs had come up to cradle him close. He nuzzled and kissed his way along Kili’s neck. 

“I have a thing for intense people,” Kili said. He arched up against Thranduil and moaned softly as Thranduil used his teeth against his skin. “I need you, Thran.”

“If you need it so bad why didn’t you get it from your Fili?” Thranduil asked.

Kili bit his lip and looked up at Thranduil, hair spread around him, tangled, and face flushed. “Cuz I want you. Now, stop second-guessing me and fuck me.”

Thranduil kissed him, hands sliding against his skin. “You only ever need to ask, birdie.”

:::

“You are in way too good of a mood this early,” Legolas said as he shuffled into the kitchen. “You’re singing and it’s eight in the morning.”

“It’s Saturday,” Kili said, dropping a kiss on the top of Legolas’s head and putting a cup of coffee in front of the grumbling teenager. “A Saturday that I have off.”

Legolas perked up. “You have today off?”

Kili grinned and went back to cooking breakfast, humming to the radio as he did so. Legolas was asking him questions, practically bouncing in his chair, and Kili was doing his best to ignore him. Thranduil came into the kitchen and chuckled.

“Try not to abuse him too much, all right?” Thranduil asked, ruffling Legolas’s still unbrushed hair. “We’re all going out to dinner later--the three of us, Tauriel, and Amaranth--so I expect proper behaviour.”

“Can we...not have her show up?” Legolas asked, shooting a look over at Kili.

“You like Tauriel,” Kili said.

“Yeah, she’s great, but her mom’s...she’s not you,” Legolas said.

Kili rolled his eyes. “You are so biased.”

“Mara is coming back from her business trip today,” Thranduil said, finger combing Legolas’s hair and tugging on a stubborn knot. “We haven’t had family time since she left a month ago.”

“We’re not really a family,” Legolas said. “Well, we are but--”

“You are being downgraded to cereal,” Kili said, placing a bowl in front of Legolas. “Keep talking and I’ll just give you toast.”

“You guys are so weird,” Legolas said, trying to fight his way free of Thranduil’s hands. “Dad! Stoppit!”

Thranduil rolled his eyes, kissing Legolas’s cheek and then reaching out and pulling Kili in for a kiss. “You don’t mind, right?”

Kili tapped Thranduil’s nose, amused. “I like Mara. She likes me. We’re good, for the most part. Tauriel should be coming home at some point in the afternoon.”

“I was going to ask…”

“Her friends picked her up for a trip to Salem,” Kili said. “She promised to be back before dinner at the latest so I figured I’d drag this one down to the Center with me.”

“We’re going to the Center?” Legolas said from the table. “Fuck yes!”

“Language,” Kili and Thranduil said at the same time. Legolas rolled his eyes at them and started texting away on his phone rapidly.

“I’ve got some work I’ve got to do on that paper of mine or I’d come with,” Thranduil said.

Kili kissed him. “It’s okay. It has been a bit since we spent some time together.”

“It’s been forever!” Legolas chimed in.

Thranduil shook his head and kissed Kili gently. “Dinner, then?”

“Of course,” Kili said, smiling against Thranduil’s lips.

“Oh god, could you two get any grosser?”

:::

“So tell me about this Center,” Fili said.

Kili laughed. “Oh god, okay. You’re going to think I’m crazy. So, there’s a community center in South Boston that I’m ridiculously fond of. It’s huge and it has an indoor archery range.”

“Archery?” Fili asked, staring at him, hand halfway to his beer.

Kili shrugged, grinning widely. “Yep.”

“You’re an archer?” Fili asked.

Kili laughed. “What, you thought I got these arms from going to the gym?”

“I actually was hoping you didn’t so I wouldn’t feel insecure,” Fili said.

Kili reached over and wrapped two of his hands around Fili’s bicep, biting his lip and grinning at Fili. “Insecure? These feel like rock. I’ve got nothing on your arms. These are works of art.”

Fili coughed, trying not to flush. “Thanks.”

Kili winked and sat back in his seat. “You’re ridiculous,” he said. “Insecure my ass. You just like fishing for compliments.”

“Eh, maybe,” Fili said with a wink. “So you’re an archer and a medical student and you spend your free time volunteering in South Boston. Anything else I should know about you?”

“I sing and play guitar?” Kili said.

“Hunh,” Fili said, blinking at him. “Didn’t see that one coming. I probably should have since you said something about open mic nights.”

“That was mostly a joke,” Kili said. “But yeah, it’s a good way to just zone out? I’ve also come up with some truly ridiculous songs to remember things for classes.”

“You write songs?” Fili asked, leaning back in his chair and grinning. “Really.”

“Oh god, no. Stop. You need to just, tell me stuff about you now!” Kili said. He was laughing and picked up his beer, grabbing it and drinking deeply. There was the tiniest bit of a flush across the tops of his cheeks that Fili found absolutely endearing. 

“Something about me, hunh?” Fili asked, snagging a fry from his plate and chewing on it idly. “Okay. I am a ridiculous fan of classic cars and motorcycles. I love going to car shows and buying what people would consider trash and fixing them up.”

"Oh you like projects," Kili said. "A project person. How's your girlfriend feel about that?"

Fili arched an eyebrow. "I'm single, thanks."

"Did she get tired of beating off the hoard?' Kili asked.

"Hoard of what?" Fili asked.

"People wanting to jump your bones," Kili said. Fili felt his eyebrows arching; Kili laughed. "You make fantastic coffee, probably know how to cook, you like getting dirty and greasy, and you're gorgeous to boot. I'm sure she didn't deal well with that."

Fili snorted. "Yeah, no. My last girlfriend was a year ago and we broke up because she kept cheating on me."

Kili blinked at him. "Dude."

"What?" 

"That sucks," Kili said.

Fili shrugged. "I am absolute shit at relationships."

"Ever dated guys?" Kili asked, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "I mean, if you swing that way."

"I seem to attract assholes no matter which way I swing," Fili said. He picked up his beer and took a deep drink, trying not to think about all the relationships he had been in, how each of them had fallen to pieces for one reason or another. None of them had been perfect but they had been his for the time being and he had enjoyed them. He wanted someone, a relationship, that was going to be permanent, or as close as he might get to it at his age.

Kili wrinkled his nose. "You need someone to treat you right," he declared.

"And who would that someone be? You?" Fili asked before he could think better of it.

Kili tilted his head to the side, his loose hair sliding over his shoulder and a little in his face, and smiled. "Maybe. Enough about relationships, tell me about your projects. What else do you have fun with?"

Fili eyed him. That maybe had sent a warmth flooding through him, making him tingle. It wasn't the warmth of arousal, though Fili had plenty of primal thoughts when it came to Kili, but this was more like...like the warmth of coming in out of the cold after a long day outside in the snow, warmth like curling up under a blanket by a roaring fire, the warmth that great romances are written about. That was what Kili's smile did to him.

"A friend of mine, Dwalin, owns a forge. I help out there sometimes when he needs an extra set of hands.”

“You...forge?” Kili asked, leaning in with that smile of his. He was all lit up, like a kid at a candy store. “What, exactly, do you forge?”

“You are such a pain in the ass,” Fili said. “I help Dwalin with his projects, whatever they might be. I know he made the bed frame, headboard, and footboard for his and Nori’s bed and the headboard for Ori’s bed.”

“Does he make handcuffs?” Kili asked. “Oh, or better, are the handcuffs built into the headboard?”

Fili choked on the beer he had just sipped. Kili looked innocent until Fili pointed at him spluttering. “No. Don’t--no. Just, no. Bad Kili.”

Kili rocked back a little, his back straightening. “Did you just _bad_ me?”

“Yes, and I will do it again,” Fili said, shaking his finger at the other man. He took a deep, proper drink of his beer and set the glass down, keeping an exaggeratedly wary eye on Kili. “Do no test me.”

Kili grinned, his shoulders rolled back. “And what would you do if I did test you?” he asked. There was a purr, or a growl, to his voice that sent that gentle warmth flaring into something so much more carnal. Fili felt trapped for a moment, licking his lips, ready to launch himself across the table at the other man…

...until their waitress came up with the check. Fili dug out his card, beating Kili to it with excuses about the last time Kili had paid and it was only fair. It was late when they finally left, not as late as before, but still reasonably late.

“What’s your stance on froyo?” Kili asked, pointing to a place that was almost closed.

“That I could probably out eat you in it,” Fili said.

Kili laughed and grabbed his hand, tugging him over to the place. “You’re on, old man!”

:::

“Hey Kili,” Ori said as Kili stepped up to his counter. “Fili’s in the back with Bilbo making a ton of stuff. Want me to grab him?”

Kili hesitated, chewing his lip before shaking his head. If he saw Fili right now he was going to drag him into some secluded corner and do things to him that were very illegal when done in public. A very bad, very tasty idea. Thranduil was starting to learn that if Kili was spending time with Fili that he was going to get pounced the moment Kili walked in the door. He’d even joined in with Thranduil and Amaranth yesterday, desperate for touch and hungry to give pleasure, which was something he very rarely did. Amaranth and he got along but neither really did it for the other… 

But Fili…

“Earth to Kili? Damn, you really need some caffeine,” Ori said.

Kili snapped out of his thoughts and smiled at Ori. “Sorry, it’s been a week. Can I get a green eye?”

Ori blinked at him. “A what?”

“Triple death,” Kili said cheerfully. “I haven’t been to sleep since, like, five am yesterday and I have a class in an hour. I need me some caffeine.”

“You’re insane,” Ori said, shaking his head and ringing Kili up for it.

Kili handed over a five, waving away his change and bounced on his toes lightly. “Hey, you’re Fili’s best friend, yeah?” Ori nodded. “You wanna get drinks later?” Ori glanced at him, an eyebrow raised. “What?”

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

“Hell no,” Kili said. “I wanna talk about blondie. You can give me all the dirt on him.”

“Why not ask him?” Ori asked.

“Because some things people don’t want to say,” Kili said. “Some things are better coming from someone else so that...whatever. You know what I mean. So, drinks, tonight? We can go to somewhere in Allston if you want, keep you close to home.”

Ori handed him his coffee and nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’ll get your number off Fili and text you later.”

“Cool,” Kili said, biting back a yawn. “I’ll see you later then!”

“Bye,” Ori said, waving as Kili ambled out the door.

This, yes. This would work out well. He’d tell Ori, maybe let him break the idea of Kili’s situation to Fili for him. Or at least advise him on it. And everything would work out and he’d get between Fili’s sheets and then nothing else would matter. As long as they were together that was all that mattered, right?

Right.

:::

Fili was standing in front of the fridge, trying to make his brain function, as he thought about what he wanted to eat. He was hungry and tired and wanted to do nothing than to crawl back into bed, but he had been woken up by stomach pains. This is what he got after working so much he forgot to eat. He worked at the cafe, pulling a double, and then he'd had to help out Dwalin with his truck because the idiot was too much of a man to just man up and buy a new car. One of these days Fili was just going to hand Nori the keys to one of his restoration projects and tell him to make Dwalin accept it. Fucking greasebucket piece of... who the hell even drives a stupid VW van anymore anyway? Dwalin was just luck Fili hadn't decided to paint it up like the Mystery Machine.

"Shhh," he heard Ori hiss, laughing. “You’ll wake everyone up!”

"What, you ashamed?" a guy asked. Fili turned, closing the fridge and frowning. Was that?

"No, but, jeez. Fili really likes you," Ori said. “God he’s gonna kill me.”

"So invite him to join in," Kili said. Fili watched as the two staggered past the kitchen to the apartment door in the living room. Kili was still wrestling his way into his clothes. "I would have absolutely no issue having the both of you. In fact, fuck, yes, please. Let’s wake him up and we can try for round three.”

"You're an addict," Ori said, giggles escaping as he hushed himself.

"Oh, Ori, sweetie," Kili said, his voice this husky growl that made Fili's dick twitch. It was almost as good as that purr growl a few days ago. "You have no idea how much of an addict I am."

Ori coughed. "So. Uh."

Fili turned and leaned in the doorway, watching as Kili pinned Ori to the door with his body and leaned in, slating their mouths together. Ori made a tiny noise and reached up, his hand going up to Kili's loose hair. It was loose and long, going down to just above Kili's hips. Fili hadn't known it was that long. He usually only saw it down when they were sitting before Kili swept it up into something tied back. Kili pulled away, tweaked Ori's nose, and opened the door.

"I'll see you in a couple of days, okay?" Kili said.

"A couple?" Ori asked, sounding dazed.

"Hiking trip," Kili said as he pulled an elastic off his wrist and started pulling his hair back. "Me, a couple of friends, a pair of bitchy teenagers. It's gonna be great. You hike?"

"Not really one for the great outdoors," Ori said slowly. 

"Shame," Kili said. He leaned in, kissing Ori once more, and winked--Fili saw him honest-to-god _wink_ \--and closed the door behind him as he left.

"So, that escalated quickly," Fili said.

Ori jumped and turned, staring at him. "It's not what it looks like!"

"It looks like the two of you had sex," Fili said. "Kind of hard to get that one wrong."

"Okay, yeah, we had sex but, oh man, you don't get it," Ori said. "I don't even know if I get it. Like, wow." He leaned back against the door. "We met up for a drink and its not even that we had a lot to drink? He's just pushy, but in a really good way. I didn't expect any of this and I was all for saying no and then there was kissing and touching and sex?"

Fili shook his head. "It's too early for this. I gotta be up in three hours for baking stuff with Bilbo."

"Can we talk later?" Ori asked hopefully. Fili hesitated and Ori pushed on, talking fast in case Fili tried to cut him off. "Because, seriously, you know how people are always going on about being sex addicts and all that and you think it's a joke but I really don't think it's a joke. Because, I mean, wow. He. You. That was completely unexpected and two times is like unheard of for me but he just--"

"Twice?" Fili asked, staring at Ori.

"Uhm, yes?"

Fili nodded. "Yeah, I'm gonna go back to bed."

"We good?"

"Ask me later," Fili said. "I'm tired and grumpy already and I just. Yeah, I'm going to bed."

:::

Kili quietly closed the door behind him, trying not to make too much noise as he was coming in. Legolas tended to pout vigorously at him when he thought Kili was sneaking out. Kid was all of fifteen and already had everyone who knew him wrapped around his finger. Adorable as all hell but he didn't quite get the arrangement Kili and Thranduil had.

"Didn't you say you were only going for drinks?" Thranduil asked from the door of his office.

"You're wearing glasses," Kili breathed, licking his lips. There was something unbelievably attractive about Thranduil in glasses with a pair of sweats hanging off his hips. Something that, despite getting off twice with Ori, left him wanting more. Maybe it had been that last idea of having both Fili and Ori at the same time...

Thranduil snorted and held out an arm. Kili grinned, toeing off his shoes, and wrapped his arms around the older man. He nosed against Thranduil's neck, pressing close, and sliding his hands against his skin.

“You’re ridiculous,” Thranduil said, digging a hand through Kili’s hair to knead at the stiff muscles of his neck. “Tell me about him.”

Kili bit his lip, trying not to moan. “You know the coffee shop?”

“You ended up in bed with Fili?” Thranduil said, pulling away.

Kili blinked up at him. “No, Ori. The other guy at the shop. He’s cute and sassy, told me my scrubs would be sexy on his floor.”

“Ah, that one,” Thranduil said. He tugged Kili in close and kissed his forehead. “Go on.”

Kili tipped his face up, kissing Thranduil and sliding his hands down his chest to toy with the strings of his sweatpants. “Wouldn’t you rather see if I can help you sleep?”

“You never put me to sleep, birdie,” Thranduil said. He nuzzled Kili’s hair, a hand possessively against the small of his back. “Go shower first and then we’ll see if I can remind you why you come home to me.”

Kili made a face, yelping when Thranduil smacked his ass, and scooted away with a pout. “Thran,” he whined.

Thranduil pulled his glasses free and gestured to the bathroom. “Scoot.”

Kili frowned but went into the bathroom as directed. Thranduil had never pushed him away before, never insisted on a shower after… Kili glanced in the mirror as he pulled his clothes off. What had changed?

:::

“Dude, don’t even talk to me,” Bard said.

“I bring you coffee and you tell me to ignore you?” Kili asked. “Rude much?”

Bard snorted as he took a sip of his coffee. “You brought me Dunkin Donuts. They burn their coffee.”

“Snob,” Kili said. “I would have brought you Fili’s coffee but I was running late.”

“Running late because?” Bard asked, watching Kili closely over the lid of the styrofoam coffee cup.

Kili coughed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I got pounced.”

Bard rolled his eyes. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again--I don’t get you two.”

“What’s there to get?” Kili asked.

Bard shook his head. “I don’t get it, don’t want to get it, let’s just move on. Thran’s got date night tonight, right?” Kili nodded. “What do we wanna do as a boys night then?”

Kili shrugged, looking around, and jumping up to sit on the tourist counter in the Visitor’s Center. “I dunno. Do we wanna?”

“When did you turn boring?” Bard asked. “C’mon, let’s go to the Hub Pub--”

“It’s Friday, right?” Kili asked. Bard rolled his eyes and nodded, sipping his coffee. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m used to working at a hospital these days. And, oy, you, you have no room to talk. You’re working on a tourism schedule! There is no such thing as a Monday through Friday nine to five with us.”

Bard rolled his eyes and set the coffee aside to greet a group of tourists who had walked in. Kili dug his phone out of his pocket and sent a quick text off to Thranduil, asking if he wanted to meet up for lunch later. The almost immediate negative text back made Kili blink, staring at his phone.

“You okay?” Bard asked.

Kili nodded and pushed his phone back into his pocket. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“It’s Friday. You wanna check out your boy Fili’s cafe?” Bard asked.

“He’s not my boy,” Kili said. He picked up his coffee and took a big sip.

“Wait. Wait,” Bard said. “You’ve been talking about this kid nonstop since you had his coffee and you haven’t screwed him yet?”

Kili shook his head. “I. No? I don’t. It’s not like that?”

“It’s not?” Bard asked. “Really. You want to go with that.”

“It’s not,” Kili said softly. “Really, it’s not.”

“You’ve gone drinking with him twice,” Bard said. “Both times you’ve ended up talking until closing. And now you say it's different and you haven’t tumbled him yet. You had me in bed long before that. You’re. You’re just you. You do that.”

“Do what?” Kili asked.

Bard grinned. “You’re very free love. You're not a slut or whatever else others might say. You just like to show people how much you like and care for them with touch and most of the time that ends up escalating into sex. It's not a bad thing."

Kili huffed softly. "Just...he's different. I don't know if--"

"If you finish that with I don't know if I want to bang him I'm dragging you to the health truck at the Commons and getting you checked out." 

"Well, maybe I don't. Maybe I just want a friend I haven't fucked before," Kili said. Bard gave him a look and Kili sigh. "Sounds like bullshit to you too, hunh?"


	3. Chapter 3

"You okay?" Kili asked, leaning against the counter with his hip, both hands wrapped around the tall white mug that Fili had found for him. “You’ve been a little distant lately.”

Fili sighed, sipping his own cup of coffee. He’d made them a pair of simple mochas, not really in the mood to get creative. “Can I ask you a question?”

Kili shrugged. “Sure. We’re friends, right? That’s part of the relationship, questions.”

“Ori?” Fili asked.

Kili was clearly startled, freezing for a moment before taking a sip of his coffee. “It seemed like a good idea at the time?” he said finally.

“A good idea at the time?” Fili asked, curious. “I’m not sure I understand.”

Kili glanced around at the empty coffee shop and shrugged. “Okay, ask.”

“Ask?”

“Whatever you need to to understand,” Kili said. “Unless you just want me to ramble at you.”

Fili set his coffee down and tried to smile at Kili. “Ramble away.”

Kili chuckled. “Okay, so. Personal philosophy regarding sex and everything like that: Sex is about fun, connection, affection. I probably have a lot more sex than most people and yeah, people could probably call me a slut but… It’s not.” Kili looked frustrated. “I’m really bad at explaining this.”

“Try?” Fili asked. “I’m trying to understand.”

Kili gave him a tiny, quick smile. “Why Ori and not you?”

“I never said--”

Kili shrugged. “You didn’t have to. You’re defensive enough and grumpy about the whole thing. It’s either because you want to protect Ori--which is an excellent trait in a friend--or because you’re...jealous isn’t the right word but it fits too. Or a mix of both.”

“I’m not jealous,” Fili said, drinking more of his coffee. He was glad he had something to hold because his hands were already shaking slightly. The truth was that he was jealous, and protective of Ori, but a very large part of him wanted to know why Ori got to have that part of Kili and he didn’t.

“Never said,” Kili said. He reached back and tugged at his ponytail, tightening it. “All right, this is really going to make me sound bad but I’ve slept with all of my friends. Well, the less than straight ones anyway. I’m not bragging, it’s just the way I am. I like people, I like connecting with them. I’m not the best with words, much better with actions, and there is nothing like getting to know a person than when you have them in bed with you. Most of the time it’s a one-off, just a night of sex and fun and dorking around and then we just settle into a good friendship and that’s that.”

“You said most of the time,” Fili said.

“Others have drifted away but my closest, my best friends, the ones who I’m there for and they’re there for me? I’ve probably slept with them. If I can trust them with my body and they trust me with theirs it...feels more real? More personal? But, I don’t know. You’re...different. I’d totally sleep with you in a heartbeat but doing so feels like it’d be wrong?”

“Wrong how?” Fili asked.

Kili was silent for a moment, picking up his coffee and taking a sip. He looked thoughtful and Fili couldn’t help but watch him in fascination. He was actually thinking about this, not just giving Fili a load of bullshit like most people would. This was actually how Kili was, physically affectionate and intimate with everyone except Fili.

“Best analogy I can come up with is that,” Kili said, pausing and making a frustrated sound. “There are exotic flowers, ones you have to tend to and water carefully and monitor and basically fuss over. They’re more precious than a rose or a tulip or any of the normal flowers you’d pick up at a market, these are ones you want to take care of and nurture.”

“I’m a flower?” Fili asked, trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, shut up,” Kili groaned. “Dahlia is a florist and has fun dragging me to flower shows and rambling at me. Anyway, analogy. You’re more important and more...everything. Treating you like the rest seems like it would be a shame, almost rude. Maybe it’ll happen, maybe it won’t and to be honest I don’t care if it ever does. You’re important in this way I can’t put my finger on. So, yeah, I don’t. Well. I do, but I don’t?”

“You make no sense,” Fili said. “Just letting you know.”

Kili sighed, “Yeah I’m not so good with words!”

“You’re adorable,” Fili said with a chuckle. 

Kili set his coffee down, eyes narrowed and reached across the counter, pulling Fili in by his shirt and kissed him. Fili was too startled to do more than stand there as Kili kissed him for a moment before he joined in. Their heads tilted as they pressed as close together as they could with the counter between them, lips and tongues meeting in a way that made sparks fly across his skin. Fili reached out, his hand snagging at Kili's ponytail and snapping the elastic as the other's hair fell around them in a brown curtain. Kili whimpered softly, one hand out to grab at Fili's jaw as they continued to kiss until the bell over the door chimed.

Kili jumped away, looking flushed and licking his lips absently. He looked really good that way, lips red from kissing. It made Fili want to pull him in close for more. And Fili could now honestly say that, yes, Kili had his tongue pierced and that was...going to lead to a lot of nice fantasies at a later date.

“Kili!” the customer called. He was a young teen with long, golden blond hair done up in a loose braid with electric blue eyes and pale skin. He was dressed in a light green polo and green khakis, looking like a typical preppy city kid, though the messenger bag he had slung across his body looked like it had seen better days.

“Legolas?” Kili asked, turning and staring at him. “What?” He pulled his phone out and checked the time. “You’re supposed to be in school.”

“I, yeah, I know but--”

Kili gave FIli a tiny smile and went over to the teenager, the two of them talking quietly for a moment.

“You forgot?” Kili said loud enough that Fili could hear him. Fili watched, sipping his coffee, trying to chase the taste of Kili out of his mouth. If he kept tasting the other man he was going to lose his mind. “Jeez, Legs, you know how important that stuff is.”

“Yeah, I know,” Legolas said with a soft whine in his voice. “If I tell dad he’s going to, well. You know him. And it’s not like the others--”

“Yeah, I got it,” Kili said. He reached out and ruffled the kid’s hair and pushed him in the direction of Fili. “Legolas, say hello to Fili. Fili, this is Legolas, he’s one of my brats.”

“And by brat, you mean…?” Fili asked with a smile.

“He lives with us and takes care of me,” Legolas said. He reached out to offer his hand to Fili. “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Legs,” Kili sighed.

Fili shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Legolas. I didn’t know you lived with other people.”

Kili shrugged. “It never came up. Uh, do you mind getting him some hot water, lemon, and honey?”

“I’m fine,” Legolas protested.

“Liar,” Kili said.

Fili glanced at them as they hissed at each other, pouring a mug full of hot water and mixing in careful amounts of lemon and honey. He handed the mug to Legolas and watched as he blew at the hot water while Kili watched him carefully.

“Are you sick?” Fili asked.

Legolas glanced at Kili who gave a tiny shrug and nodded. “Yeah, I’ve got rheumatoid arthritis. I forgot to take my shot today and I feel like crap.”

“Language,” Kili sighed softly.

“You swear worse than I do!”

Kili grinned. “Do as I say not as I do.”

“Bite me,” Legolas muttered.

“Do you live with him because of his…?” Fili asked.

Kili hesitated and shook his head. “It’s complicated.”

“It’s not that complicated,” Legolas said, sipping his water.

“Go sit down, twerp,” Kili said, pointing to the table he had set camp up at. “Sorry about that,” he said as the teen walked away. He glanced at where Legolas had sat and was sipping his water while playing with his phone. “I watch over him a lot. I’m...kind of part of the family. It’s a complicated family.”

“Wanna tell me about it?” Fili asked.

“Nope,” Kili said cheerfully. He picked up his coffee mug, sipping the cooling beverage, with a smile. “You haven’t told me anything about your family. You don’t get to say anything to me, or ask me anything, until you start spilling.”

“What do you want to know?” Fili asked.

Kili finished his coffee and set the mug down before leaning over the counter again. He stayed there, braced and smiling. Fili laughed, rolling his eyes, and leaning in to kiss Kili again. It was slow, sweet. Neither one of them wanted to put on a show or do anything more than just...connect, for a few precious seconds. It was chaste, just the brushing of lips against lips, heads tilted in close as they kissed.

“I gotta go,” Kili murmured. “Kid needs his meds. I’ll come see you later?”

“Helping a friend with his truck later but soon?”

Kili smiled and pulled away. “Soon is good.”

:::

“I like him, he’s nice,” Legolas said as Kili slid the needle into a pinch of skin on the other’s thigh. “And he really likes you.”

“Shut up, you,” Kili said with a smile as he pushed the plunger down. Legolas held still and let out a tiny hiss. “You okay?”

“Tiny burn,” Legolas admitted.

“I’ll pick another part of your thigh next week,” Kili said. He slid the needle free and handed Legolas a bandaid as he stood up, snapping the lid over the needle and depositing it in the sharps container. “You know, you didn’t have to come rushing into the cafe to find me. You can take your medicine any time today.”

Legolas grinned a he pulled up his pants. “I wanted to meet him.”

Kili shook his head. “Why are you such a brat?”

“I heard you and dad talking while we were hiking,” Legolas said. “Well, arguing.”

“It wasn’t arguing,” Kili said.

“Dad was definitely upset,” Legolas said. “And he’s been finding more excuses to stay out of the house or spend time with Mara.”

Kili rubbed the back of his neck. “I just thought I was being paranoid…”

Legolas shook his head. “He’s definitely upset. Is it because of Fili?”

“Probably,” Kili said. He sighed and glanced at Legolas. “Don’t you have homework you need to go do?”

“But you’re going to do something for dad and I wanna help,” Legolas said. “I’m a meddling teen, this is what I’m supposed to do.”

Kili pulled Legolas in for a tight hug and a quick kiss to his cheek while the other laughed and fought to get away. He heard the door and saw Tauriel come in, cellphone in one hand and headphones in. She stopped and stared before pulling out her headphones, letting her bag and cell drop to the counter, and came over to grab Legolas from the other side. Legolas whined, fighting against the two of them until Kili extricated himself and let the two teen duke it out.

“Let go,” Legolas whined, trying to push Tauriel away from him.

“Nah,” she said with a laugh. “You’re funny like this. Flail, minion, flail!”

“I am not your minion!”

“You’re my little brother, you are so my minion,” Tauriel said with a smug grin.

“You’re not my actual sister,” Legolas argued.

“Does that mean I can sexually harass you then? Cuz I would so whistle at you.”

Kili snickered. “Tauriel, stop harassing Legolas.”

“But it’s so fun,” the redhead said with a pout in Kili’s direction.

“Yeah but it’s also easy, which takes some of the fun out of it, right?”

“You suck when you make sense,” Tauriel said, letting Legolas go with a big, wet smack of a kiss to his cheek. Legolas reached up to rub it off and wailed softly as he realized Tauriel was wearing some sort of slick lip gloss that left a mark on him. “I’ve got a date later and a paper I gotta write so I’m gonna be upstairs.”

“Hey, can you help me with my math?” Legolas asked.

“Let me put you in something other than those disgusting preppy clothes and I will,” Tauriel said.

“No skirts,” Legolas said with a sigh.

“You two are so weird,” Kili said.

“You’re one to talk,” Tauriel said with a sniff. She flashed a mile in his direction and snagged Legolas’s wrist and her bag, dragging both up the stairs to her room.

Kili pulled out his phone and checked his schedule. He could probably… He just needed to make a call or two.

:::

Kili pushed Thranduil down on the bed, pulling his own shirt off and unbuttoning his pants before crawling over him. Thranduil had already been divested of his shirt and was lying on the bed in amusement as Kili attacked his pants.

“I can’t believe you did this,” Thranduil said, hands coming up to push at Kili’s pants.

Kili smiled down at him, going up on his knees to make it easier, and squeaked at Thranduil rolled them. Pants were pulled and pinches given, the two of them laughing as they got naked. “Which part are you not able to believe?” Kili asked, one hand wrapped around his cock.

Thranduil kissed him, swatting his hand away and wrapping his own around Kili’s cock. “That you got someone to cover your shifts and then booked us a bed and breakfast.”

“I’ve missed you,” Kili said. He bit his lip, trying not to groan as Thranduil did something with his hand that made his toes curl. “W-wanted to spend time, just the t-two--ohgod, Thran.”

Thranduil kissed his way down Kili’s body, kissing and sucking and biting as he went. He licked at one nipple before opening his mouth and lightly using his teeth on the surrounding skin as he sucked, tugging on the piercing there absently. Kili squirmed under him, whining, as Thranduil pulled away to lavish the same attention on his other nipple. He used his mouth and tongue, sucking and laving, tongue playing with the metal barbell there, as he stroked Kili’s cock. Kili spread his legs, easily positioning Thranduil where he wanted between them, as the other man continued his descent of Kili’s body.

“Missed this,” Thranduil said. “You taste so good.” He licked along Kili’s flat stomach, his tongue dipping into his navel before biting at the sensitive skin. 

Kili watched him, panting. “You gonna use that hand or just hold me?” he asked.

Thranduil glanced up at him with a smug look and slid lower, pinning Kili’s cock against his stomach. Kili whined, biting out swears, until Thranduil leaned in and started sucking and licking at his balls. The other man was careful, sucking on them gently, nuzzling them, doing any number of things that made Kili ache to come.

“Turn over,” Thranduil said as he pulled away, stroking Kili’s aching cock a few times before letting go.

“Thran,” Kili whispered in soft protest, “please. I need you to fuck me.”

“I will,” Thranduil laughed. “But I want to taste you first. All of you.”

Kili licked his dry lips and turned over, letting Thranduil position him how he wanted with his ass in the air and his knees spread. Thranduil stroked the small of Kili’s back and pressed his face against Kili’s ass, nuzzling him.

“Love this, just the two of us,” Thranduil said, pulling back to take Kili’s ass in his hands, pulling his cheeks apart and gently blowing air against his asshole. “No kids, no Mara, nothing to distract us from each other.”

Kili laughed softly. “I’ve been ignoring you lately, haven’t I?”

“A little,” Thranduil said. He leaned in, licking along his crack. “This makes up for it a little.”

Kili nodded, head dropping down and focusing on what Thranduil was doing. He was licking and blowing along the sensitive skin, ignoring his hole for everything around it. Kili bit back a whine and swore loudly as Thranduil rubbed his thumb over his hole and tugged at it as his tongue very lowly pushed in. His thighs were shaking as Thranduil flirted with his hole, licking around it, kissing it, his tongue and mouth everywhere but where Kili wanted it most.

"I love how desperate you are," Thranduil said. He kneaded Kilis ass, his hands constantly touching and moving. "You brought toys, right?"

Kili swallowed, trying to wet his dry throat. "Y-yeah," he said.

He felt Thranduil get up off the bed but stayed where he was, ass in the air, trying to atop his shaking thighs. He let his head fall to rest on his crossed arms, breathing, as he heard rustling. He zoned for a moment, letting Thranduil take care of him, letting him have the control. He almost jumped when he finally felt hands on him. Thranduil tugged him up onto his knees, kissing and nibbling on his neck as he reached down, fitting a bright, neon blue silicone ring around his cock and balls.

"Thran," Kili groaned, leaning back against him. "Don't torture me."

"Shouldn't I be the one saying that to you?" Thranduil asked. "You've been going around for a month with that stupid smile on your face, the one he puts on your face. That used to be me." Kili turned his head, nuzzling against Thranduil's cheek. "Tell me what I need to do to make you smile, birdie." The was the sound of a top popping and Kili felt lube slicked fingers against his hole, one slowly pushing in. He arched, moving to make it easier as he kept leaning into the older man. "I love you and I want nothing more than to make you happy."

Kili groaned as Thranduil slowly moved his finger in and out. "You do make me happy," he said. "You have no idea how happy you make me." A second finger joined the first. "You give me freedom and stability, a home, a family. You give me everything, Thran."

Thranduil worked Kili open, his fingers slowly teasing him; it wasn't the fast prep of someone desperate to get inside him, to fuck him, this was Thranduil taking his time because he wanted something. Kili couldn't--wouldn't--complain, because it felt so good to be the only focus of Thranduil's attentions. Thranduil was a professor and largely had papers to grade, his own to write to keep his position, and another partner to pay attention to as well as two children to play father to. Often Kili came in second, though Mara came in second as well, to everything else going on in their lives. This, this was special...

"This weekend is just us," Thranduil said. "If we leave this room it is going to be for food and food only."

"C'mon, Thran, at least come look at the leaves with me," Kili laughed, the sound turning to a high-pitched whine as Thranduil milked his prostate. Kili gasped and clung to Thranduil's arm, moaning as the fingers left him. "Bed is good, bed is very good too."

Thranduil kissed his cheek and let go, nudging Kili back down to all fours. Kili went, taking a deep breath and spreading his knees. He wanted so much to feel Thranduil, to have the older man wrapped between his legs. There would be lots, and lots, and lots of sex in the next two days if Kili had anything to say about it.

The feel of thick silicone was not what he had expected. He looked over his shoulder and bit his lip as the toy slid a little further into him. Thranduil smiled, leaning down and kissing the dip above his ass, and continued working the toy slowly inside him.

"You ass," Kili whined, feeling the thick toy stretch him. "Fu-fuck."

"You always did love this toy," Thranduil said as he slid it all the way inside Kili. It was so there, thick, perfect, stretching him and holding him open and just. Everywhere. Kili could feel his brain short-circuit and just focused on breathing. The ring was tight around his cock but it didn't stop it from aching like he was about to come. "You remember when we first got it? I made you come just by putting it inside you."

"Nngg shut up," Kili whimpered.

Thranduil laughed and leaned up, kissing along Kili's back. He stroked Kili's thighs and chest, tweaking his nipples, tugging at the simple barbells, and reaching down to wrap his hand around Kili's cock. "Gorgeous."

"You're going to be a dick the entire night, aren't you?" Kili asked.

Thranduil reached back and spanked Kili, his palm hitting the edge of the dildo. Kili gasped, reaching out and grabbed the headboard. Thranduil laughed and pulled away, reaching down to work the dildo slowly in and out of him. Kili gripped the headboard tightly, focusing on breathing, letting Thranduil work him over. He could feel words starting to fall from his mouth as Thranduil fucked him slow and deep with the dildo.

"What would you say if I told you I was taping this?" Thranduil asked.

"I would tell you I will kill you after but don't you dare fucking stop," Kili whined. "Thran, please, I need!"

"What do you need?"

"I need to come, fuck, oh god, please," Kili begged.

Thranduil chuckled softly and moved the toy faster, working it in at different angles, keeping it moving hard into Kili. Kili bit his lip, eyes screwed tight as he came, shouting Thranduil's name and clinging to the headboard weakly. He felt the older man easing him over onto his back, kissing and petting him though the afterglow. Kili felt Thranduil easing the tight silicone off his sensitive prick though the toy was still inside him.

“You’re evil,” Kili murmured.

“I know what you like,” Thranduil said. “There is a difference.” Kili huffed at him and Thranduil smiled, leaning over and kissing him gently. “Do you want dinner now or later?”

Kili squirmed a little. “You gonna leave this in me?”

Thranduil smirked and got off the bed. He went over to the luggage and brought out a fat red plug that looked like a bomb from the side. “I was thinking of replacing it.”

Kili looked at it and licked his lips. “I’m not going to survive the night, am I?”

Thranduil crawled back on the bed and reached between Kili’s legs, easing out the large toy and kissing him as he whimpered. “I’m giving you breathing time. We will go to dinner and have a lovely time.”

“While I’m plugged.”

Thranduil kissed him again and got off the bed, going into the bathroom. “Just be glad it’s not a vibe.”

Kili laughed, turning his head to muffle it in the pillow. He was in so much trouble.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hi!” Legolas said, waving at Fili from the end of the line.

Fili blinked, waving back and frowning when he didn’t see Kili. Next to the blond teen was a very tall man with equally blond hair neatly braided and wearing a very nice suit. Legolas, meanwhile, was in jeans and a rugby shirt, wearing a scarf Fili had seen on Kili earlier in the morning. He snapped back to attention as his current customer cleared their throat at him and focused on making coffees and handing out baked goods.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to get you yelled at,” Legolas said as he and the other man stepped up to the front.

Fili shook his head. “It’s cool. What can I get you guys?”

“Dad, this is Fili,” Legolas said proudly, his hands in his pockets. “Fili, my dad, Thranduil. Can I just get a normal light roast?”

Fili smiled, “Yes, you can have a ‘normal’ roast.”

“Well! You never know! Everywhere has these weird roasts and,” Legolas waved his hands in the air. “You know.”

“Maybe I should give you decaf instead,” Fili said slowly. Ori, next to him and making someone else’s drink, started laughing.

“Yes, please,” Thranduil said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“He’s gonna have tea,” Legolas said with a roll of his eyes.

“I hardly think--”

“He’s a tea snob,” Legolas said.

“I am not--”

“He likes loose teas only.”

“Would you let me finish a sentence?” Thranduil said with a clenched jaw. Legolas looked at him, surprised, but nodded. “I was going to ask what your tea selection was, though Kili has assured me that everything here is of the highest quality.”

Fili arched an eyebrow. “Uh, we’ve got a lot of loose tea, actually. The owner, Bilbo, is--”

“Baggins?” Thranduil asked. “I know him, in the academic sense. Charming fellow. I didn’t know he owned a cafe.”

“I didn’t know he was academic,” Fili said.

“Oh, he is, a little,” Ori said. He had handed off the coffee he had made to his customer and the shop was, for now, without anyone in need of something. “I’m not sure on what but I’ve heard him bitching to Bofur about some peer review from Harvard.”

Thranduil smiled. “I would be the peer review from Harvard,” he said.

“Uh, well. He likes tea, a lot, so he buys them from David’s Tea. We’ve got most of the fall collection here and a semi decent amount of herbal and green.”

“Do you have their green seduction tea?” Thranduil asked. At Fili’s nod he smiled. “I’ll have a pot of that if you could.”

“You have lemon bars,” Legolas said in a breathy voice as he noticed the sweets case. “Dad, lemon bars. Please?”

Thranduil smiled faintly at him. “Legolas.”

“It’s lemon bars!”

Thranduil rolled his eyes but nodded at Fili. “He’ll never shut up otherwise.” Fili added it to the order in the computer and rang it up as zero. “I believe I owe--”

“Nope,” Fili said. “You’re friends of Kili. Don’t worry about it.”

Thranduil’s face went tight for a moment before he smiled and nodded. “Kili certainly has a way about him, doesn’t he?”

Fili couldn’t help his laugh. “Oh man, you have no idea. He’s kind of undefinable.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Ori said. He waved Fili off and got the teapot out and the tea while Fili started in on the decaf coffee, ignoring Legolas’s whine and Thranduil’s chuckle. “Did you guys just come from seeing him?”

Thranduil looked startled. “We did. How…?”

“Scarf,” Fili said as he handed Legolas his coffee. “Kili was wearing it earlier.”

“Katarina made it for him,” Legolas said. “I keep stealing it from him cuz it’s soft and comfy.”

Fili ducked into the sweets case, snagging a lemon bar and setting it on a plate, trying to place the name. “His...sister, right? Second eldest?”

“Yep!” Legolas said. “I think she’s gonna make me one just so I stop stealing his.”

“You’ll find other things of his to steal,” Thranduil said. “Legolas is, we all are, very fond of Kili.”

“All?” Ori asked.

Thranduil nodded. “Tauriel and Amaranth as well.”

“Wife and daughter?” Fili asked.

Thranduil stared at him as Legolas went and found them a seat. “Kili hasn’t told you?”

“Told me what?”

“I haven’t heard about them either,” Ori said, handing Thranduil the teapot and teacup.

The tall man took them, looking troubled. “Nevermind. It’s not my place.”

Fili glanced at Ori as Thranduil joined his son at a table.

“Got me,” Ori said and shrugged, walking away to greet a new customer. Fili watched Thranduil and Legolas for a moment, frowning, and thinking. There was something he was missing, something that Thranduil thought he should know already, and he couldn’t help the sinking feeling taking hold in his stomach.

:::

“He doesn’t know,” Thranduil said, arms crossed as Kili closed the door.

“Well, hello to you too,” Kili sighed. He dropped his bag on the floor--carefully, his laptop was in there after all--and pulled off his sweatshirt and the thick jersey scarf Legolas had discarded for him. “I’m great, thanks for asking. Shift was awful, spent most of the day helping out one of the surgeons. One of them was a bleeder, that was fun. Died on the table, but Doc Rivers says she’ll talk to the ME to see if I might be able to do the autopsy. So that’s always good. How was your day? Exciting as ever, I assume, though Legolas probably had you running all over the place.” He looked Thranduil over, taking in the rolled up sleeves on his Oxford and how it was untucked from his black dress pants, his hair loose and looking disheveled, and offered him a leer. “You look delicious."

“I met Fili,” Thranduil asked. “And Ori. They are very fond of you.”

Kili looked up at Thranduil from where he was untying his sneakers. “What?”

“Legolas took me to the cafe.”

Kili twisted, sitting down on the floor and leaning back against the door. “Well shit.”

Thranduil’s arms were crossed. “He knows nothing about any of us, Kili. He knows about your sisters but you’ve never mentioned any of the rest of us.”

“I…”

“Aren’t we also your family?” Thranduil asked, voice tense. 

Kili looked down at the floor, eyes picking out the pattern in the hardwood. “You are,” he said.

“Apparently not important enough to mention to a friend,” Thranduil said. “Or maybe you haven’t mentioned us because it’s not friendship you’re after with him.”

Kili flinched. “Thran--”

“You want to, what, date him? Woo him? Be his one and only?” Thranduil asked. “You’re not that type of person, Kili. You don’t do well with monogamy or being stifled, being with the same person and only the same person for the rest of your life. You can’t be that person. You don’t want to be that person.”

“Why don’t you let me decide what kind of person I want to be?” Kili demanded, tipping his head back to look at Thranduil. He was tired and hurt and so many damned emotions that he wanted to crawl in a corner and try and figure himself out.

“Do you know what you want?” Thranduil demanded, arms crossed.

“No!” Kili shouted. Thranduil took a step back and Kili closed his mouth, feeling panic claw at his throat. “Yes, I mean. No? I just.”

“You need to leave,” Thranduil said softly.

“What?” Kili breathed, staring at him. He grabbed the door knob and got to his feet. “No, Thran, please. Just, we can. We can talk this over, right? I mean.”

“Stop,” Thranduil said. “Just, stop. Kili. You need...you need to figure yourself out.”

“I love you,” Kili said, trying to figure out what had just happened.

“I know you do,” Thranduil said. “But Fili’s not...he’s not Bard or Beorn or any of your other friends. He’s not Ori either. He’s different and you’re acting different because of him.”

“He’s not you,” Kili said.

Thranduil swallowed and shook his head, taking a step back. “You can’t stay here, not now. If you do, I. You.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “We need to figure this out.”

“I haven’t done anything with him,” Kili said. “I haven’t, Thran, I just.”

“That’s why,” Thranduil said. He hesitated and then came close, wrapping Kili in his arms and pulling him close, nose buried in Kili’s hair. Kili clung to him, eyes closed tight. “Birdie, if you had just...slept with him it would have been so much easier. I would have gotten over it because that’s you. But this? This is...you don’t do this, birdie.”

Kili buried his nose against Thranduil’s neck, breathing him in and trying to figure out what exactly was going on. “Please,” he whispered. “Don’t.”

“You need this,” Thranduil said, pulling away from Kili. “You need to figure out what you want. Whether we go on as we have been or we don’t. This thing, Fili, you need to figure out if it’s because of him as a person or because we’re not doing something right. Maybe we’ve missed something, the both of us, and this situation was a long time coming.”

“Thran,” Kili whispered.

Thranduil shook his head. “I’m meeting Mara for dinner. The kids are out at the moment so you have some time. I just. Not right now, all right?”

Kili stared. “You. Please don’t tell me you want me gone, gone. Like, completely gone. Thran, please, it’s not that serious. You’re everyth--”

Thranduil covered Kili’s mouth with his hand. “I am not everything. We would not be having this conversation if I was everything. I need you to leave for now, not forever. I. I don’t think I could bear forever.”

Kili tried to breathe through the choking feeling in his throat, the burning in his eyes. Thranduil coughed and let go, grabbing his overcoat and edging around Kili to leave the house. Kili watched as the door closed and stared at it in shock. What just happened?

:::

Kili sat in the passenger seat, knees to his chest, looking out the window. The car was utterly silent as it pulled into the driveway of a large white house. Katarina turned the car off and they sat there, listening to the engine tick and cool.

“You painted the door,” Kili mumbled, looking at it.

“Bif did,” Katarina said. “I wanted yellow but he said red went better.”

“Looks good,” he said.

“You wanna sit here all night or you wanna help me get your stuff inside?” 

“Kat,” Kili whispered.

Katarina rolled her eyes. “You are such an idiot, Kili. Get your fool ass out of my car and inside. I’ll grab your bags.”

“Ka--”

“Out!”

Kili fumbled with the seatbelt and all but fell out of the car, shoving his hands deep into the Harvard sweatshirt he’d stolen from Thranduil. He pulled out his phone and sent another text to Bard before sticking it in his pocket and going up to the door. He looked at the fresh paint and the gleaming gold lion on the door knocker and felt a wave of homesickness. Thranduil had bought a dragon door knocker off etsy ages ago that he had never gotten around to putting on the door, same with the cans of paint they had bought one day to paint Legolas’s room two different shades of green. They kept saying during the summer or the fall, or the spring, and then the summer, any time but the winter so they could have the windows open...but they had never gotten around to it.

Kili bit his lip, trying to fight back the tears and only feeling the burn. The door opened and Bifur stood before him in a pair of sweats and a beat up NAVY t-shirt with his salt and pepper hair.

“Ah, kid,” he said, stepping forward and pulling Kili into a strong hug. “C’mon, I got you liquor.”

Kili nodded, his head starting to hurt from keeping back the tears, but he didn’t want to cry. Crying meant he was giving up on Thranduil, on everything they had, and he wasn’t ready to do that yet. He let Bifur deposit him in the living room on the big couch and accepted the glass of gin with a shaking hand. Katarina talked at him, saying where she was dumping his stuff, but Kili didn’t care. He drank his gin like it as water and stared blindly at the TV, pretending not to notice when Katarina put the box of tissues next to him or how his glass never emptied.

:::

“You’re crazy,” Bard hissed as Kili pushed him into an empty examining room. Kili kissed him quiet, locking the door, as he leaned back against it. “Kili!”

“Shh, you’ll get us caught,” Kili said, hands yanking Bard’s belt undone. He smiled and leaned in, kissing him again. “C’mon, you know you wanna. It’s been so long, Bard.”

“You are out of your mind,” Bard groaned, trying to pull Kili’s hand out of his pants.

“C’mon, you told me ages ago you had a doctor kink,” he said. “Let’s have fun with that. Here I am, in scrubs and I even stole a white coat, and we’ve got an exam room. I can even put some gloves on.”

Bard let his head fall back, biting his lip, before looking Kili in the eye. “Tell me you’re doing this because you want to and not because Thranduil broke up with you.”

“He didn’t break up with me,” Kili said, walking Bard back to the exam table and grinning at him. “He told me to figure things out. And I will. But, in the meantime, I’m going to have a little fun and I’ve missed having fun with you. What better way than to reconnect a little with one of your very kinky fantasies?”

Bard reached up and grabbed Kili by the hair, pulling him in for a hungry kiss. “Well then, doc, I think I need your help with something.”

Kili had pushed him back against the table, blowing him before fucking him. The hungry look Bard gave him when he left was more than worth the knowing looks the nursing staff gave him for the rest of the day.

:::

“I haven’t seen Kili in for the past couple of days,” Ori said as he and Fili closed up the cafe. “Have you?”

Fili shook his head as he counted the till, writing down numbers on a post-it note. “I’ve texted him but haven’t heard back either.”

“Do you think he’s all right?” Ori asked. “Or maybe he’s cheating on you, getting his caffeine elsewhere.”

Fili grinned, counting the large pile of pennies. “If he wants subpar coffee that’s none of my business. I think it’s something else but we’ll see.”

“Wanna head over to Nori’s after this, grab a burger?” 

Fili scribbled down the total and nodded. “Sure. It’d be nice to see him and I still need to yell at Dwalin. That stupid van of his is driving me up a wall. He should just trash it and get an actual car.”

Ori laughed. “You know he loves that stupid thing.”

“Yeah, I know,” Fili said. “Still, I keep fixing it and he keeps breaking it. Something’s got to give.”

:::

Kili poked his phone. Well. That was one way to make sure he would stop checking if Thranduil had called, or texted, or emailed. Absolutely massacred. What the hell had happened last night?

...oh, right.

"You know," Bard said from the bedroom door, holding a glass of juice. "At some point you're going to need to figure out where you went from having sex because you want to love someone to drowning yourself in it."

"Bard," Kili said, rubbing his forehead. "Look, it's--"

"Oh, it totally is," Bard said. "I love you, Kili, so here's how I see it. Thranduil is probably the only steady lover you've ever had and the two of you can be absolutely disgusting. He also loves you as you are without trying to change you. That's some pretty powerful stuff. But now he's drawn the line and told you to grow up, more or less, and you have no idea how to process this. And in your panic you've somehow ended up sleeping with as much of South Boston as you can wrap your legs around." Kili winced. "The question is this: when the hell did you start equating sex with self-worth?"

Kili stared at him. "What?"

Bard shook his head and handed Kili the glass of juice. "Just think about it."

"I don't," Kili protested. He looked down at the orange juice and glanced up at Bard. "Do I?"

"Tell me five things you're awesome at and proud of," Bard said sitting on the bed with him. "Five things that have nothing to do with sex or other people."

Kili took a sip of the juice, rolling it around in his mouth. "I'm good with a scalpel. If I wanted to I'd probably be a good surgeon. I know one of my teachers wants me to give orthopedic surgery a shot instead of pathology but." Kili shrugged.

"Okay, that's one down. What else?"

Kili rolled his eyes at Bard. "Ass. I'm good at..." He closed his mouth. "Taking care of people? Not just with sex but. I'm there for a lot of people. I listen and I try and help when and where I can."

"You punched Jess's abusive boyfriend in the face in front of campus security and got arrested," Bard pointed out.

"Yeah but I said why and they investigated and turned it over to the cops and he never hit her again after that," Kili said.

"Okay, two down. Good with a scalpel and saving people, and good with protecting people and being there for them. Three more to go, mister."

Kili chewed his bottom lip. "I can play a song on the guitar after listening to it a few times?"

"You sound unsure," Bard said. 

Kili reached up and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know."

"You can think of more than two things that have nothing to do with other people," Bard said.

Kili tugged a knee against his chest. "I'm good at music," he said. "I've been told I'm good and I am. That's three things."

"Do you think you're awesome at it?" Bard asked gently.

Kili got up off the couch and went into the bathroom and throwing the lock.

:::::

The last thing Fili expected when he walked into his local bar was to see Kili. The other was chatting with one of the bartenders, smiling and looking like he was having the time of his life. Only...there was that tilt at the edge of his smile, a tilt Fili was good at spotting from work when he would add an extra dollop of whipped cream or sneak them a cookie.

He waved at the people who shouted greetings and sat down next to Kili, nudging him gently, as he cheerfully asked after the bartender and the man’s family. The three of them chatted as Fili and Kili drank until the bartender was called down to the other side of the bar.

“Hey,” Fili said finally.

Kili looked away and then down at his hands. “Hey.”

“You okay?”

Kili snorted, a tight little laugh escaping. “Okay? Yeah, sure, couldn’t be better.”

“Legolas and a girl came into the cafe today looking for you,” Fili offered. Kili cringed away from him, snagging his beer and draining the full pint in two big swallows. “I thought you lived with him. Apparently he hadn’t seen you in almost two weeks?”

“Uh, he. T-Thranduil and I. Uhm. It’s complicated,” Kili said softly.

“Did you get fired?” Fili asked with a frown.

Kili looked at him, brown eyes wide. “Fired? I. Well, I. Yes? In a way? Fuck, what did I get fired from? Everything? I don’t. I.”

Fili offered Kili his beer, grabbing one of his hands under the counter and holding it tight, his shorter fingers threading with Kili’s longer ones. Kili took it, draining it slower but still just as fast. “C’mon,” Fili said, tugging on Kili’s hand. “Let’s go back to mine and you can tell me what’s going on.”

Kili stared at him, looking almost like a deer in the headlights. He nodded slowly, digging his wallet out with his free hand and tossing down a fifty dollar bill before standing and letting Fili lead him outside into the cold October air. 

“It’s almost Halloween,” Fili said as they walked, still holding hands.

“Fall’s my favorite,” Kili said softly. “I hate the winter, though. It lasts so long and fall doesn’t last long enough.”

“Spring’s mine,” Fili offered. “All the new growth, renewing everything and waking up the earth.”

“I like everything dying and decomposing,” Kili muttered.

Fili laughed. “You’re in a mood. Usually you’re a lot happier and upbeat.”

“I fucked up,” Kili said. “Not allowed to be happy.”

“Now that’s just ridiculous,” Fili said. “Everyone is allowed to be happy. No one can tell you not to be happy, not even yourself.” Kili tried to pull away but Fili pulled him in close instead. “Don’t pull away from me, Kili. I know you’re hurting and I want to help you, if you’ll let me.”

“You can’t help,” Kili said. “Fuck, no one can help. I did this to myself. You’re going to hate me too when I tell you, just like he hates me, like they all hate me. Dammit, even Bard--”

Fili leaned in, pulling Kili down for a kiss. He had only intended to quiet Kili down, but he had forgotten--barely--how electric they were when they kissed. Kili whimpered and pressed close, his hands wrapping around Fili’s wrists as Fili cupped his face. The kiss wasn’t long and it wasn’t short, but it was a decision.

“Fuck me,” Kili breathed. “Please, I. I need--I want. Fili. Please, I need you.”

Fili leaned in, kissing him gently, doing his best to express his affection through his lips. He succeeded, he thought, because Kili whimpered softly, pulling away to press close, his head resting on Fili’s shoulder.

“We’re close?”

“Very,” Fili said, kissing Kili’s cheek. “Behind you.”

Kili turned and looked at the large house behind them. It wasn’t much, just a nice house with two floors; it was painted a soft green with yellow trim and black shutters and a white door with a wrap-around porch stained a light color. It was home, tasteful and well-maintained for the area. There was a small front yard but the back was large with a grill, patio, and a decent garden. Ori had vegetables and herbs growing back there that helped feed them in the spring and summer, and their landlord loved it.

“There’s three--well, four. Dwalin finally moved in with Nori a couple days ago so there’s boxes everywhere, but four of us. Nori owns his own place and then there’s Ori and me.”

Kili nodded and Fili kissed him again before leading Kili inside the house. The house was dark but it wasn't a surprise; Ori had a date and Nori and Dwalin were at the bar. Fili led Kili into his room, the other looking around curiously. They hadn't bothered turning the light on since the light from the street was bright enough to see what they needed to see.

"It's nice," Kili said with a small smile. He tugged off his jacket and let it drop to the floor. "Show me around later."

"You were here with Ori before," Fili pointed out.

Kili licked his lips. He stepped forward and reached out, hands curling around Fili's jaw as he leaned in and kissed him. Fili licked at Kili's lips, pressing closer as Kili opened his mouth and they explored each other's mouths. It was strange, in a way, to have the feel of metal rubbing against his tongue and in his mouth but not so strange to put him off. He reached down and tugged Kili's tshirt up and off, one hand wrapping around the other's hip.

"So tattoos and piercings, hunh?" Fili asked, tilting his head to suck and nibble his way along Kili's neck.

Kili laughed breathlessly. "I had an attitude problem when I was a teenager," he said, tipping his head back. "And I like needles."

"Not pain?"

"Depends on the pain," Kili said, reaching down to pull Fili's shirt off as well. "You know, for someone who works in a cafe you have some really nice muscles."

"You can't see them in the dark," Fili said, smiling.

"Yeah but I can feel them," Kili said. He took a step back and went to his knees, hands curling around Fili's thighs as he nuzzled his stomach. There was teeth and tongue and Fili let his head fall back, one hand falling to Kili's shoulder. "Yum," he said, looking up at Fili before tipping his head down and using his teeth to tug the button of Fili's jeans loose.

"Oh fuck," Fili whispered, staring down at Kili. He was breathing just the tiniest bit faster and could feel his cock growing almost impossibly hard. There was no way--or maybe there was. Fili swallowed thickly as Kili used his teeth and tongue to unzip his fly and then his hands to push the thick denim off Fili's hips. "Where the hell did you learn that?"

Kili sat back on his heels, rubbing at the leg of Fili's trunks. "Around," he said. "And with a lot of laughter."

"You're not doing it right if you're not laughing," Fili said.

Kili stared up at him and pushed himself to his feet, tugging Fili in for a hungry kiss. Fili grabbed at Kili's hair, pulling it loose and fisting it, as he kicked his jeans and sneakers off, pushing Kili towards his bed. Kili growled softly at him, hands pushing and pulling at Fili's trunks in his best attempts to get him naked, but Fili kept twisting away. Kili huffed at him, glaring in the low light.

"You are wearing far too much," Fili said. "C'mon and even the playing field a little."

Kili kicked his sneakers off and arched his hips as he cocked a brow at Fili who laughed and reached down to undo Kili's jeans the conventional way. Once they were down he stared at Kili's legs. One was tattooed from ankle to thigh and Fili drew it into his lap, hands sliding over the lightly furred skin. There was a raven battling a dragon on the top portion of Kili's thigh with a lion down by his calf biting on the dragon's tail. There were clouds and land, lightning and sea, and Fili wanted to run his tongue over all of it. He started by tugging Kili's boxers slowly off, kissing and licking and nibbling his way down as he took the cloth with him. There was other ink on Kili's skin but none this encompassing or detailed. Kili stayed still, watching him with wide eyes, until Fili tossed the underwear somewhere behind him and scraped his teeth over the last of the tattoo right above Kili's ankle bone.

Fili smiled up at Kili and pulled off his socks, letting those fall to the floor too. He wasn’t surprised to see more ink on Kili but this one looked new. It was a small, stylized coffee cup with steam coming off it with the word clarity forming the saucer on Kili’s foot. Fili looked up at Kili, smiling and crawling back up his body, leaning in to kiss him.

“Clarity?”

Kili grinned, reaching down and tugging on Fili’s short hair. “Yeah,” he said. “You. You give me clarity.”

Fili scooted up, kissing Kili slowly. “That’s me?” he asked.

“My cup of clarity,” Kili said. He ran his hands through Fili’s hair, smiling as it curled in places. Fili wrinkled his nose, not overly fond of his odd hair--curly in some places while the rest was straight as straw--but Kili seemed to enjoy playing with it. “Think that’s why it took so long for us to get here. I was scared of what I saw, what you saw. But, I think, yeah. I think we’re ready.”

“You sure?” Fili asked, leaning down and nibbling on Kili’s neck. He didn’t even know what Kili was talking about, just that it meant that it sounded like he was ready to be with Fili and Fili only.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dropped NaNo cuuuuuz I'm beyond behind on word count. So these will be a little slower in coming.

Kili blew his hair out of his face and looked over his shoulder at Fili. "I think you've officially ruined me."

Fili nibbled on Kili's shoulder, hand smoothing down his side. "Is this a bad thing?" he asked. "Cuz, I gotta admit, I'm not big on letting you go anytime soon."

Kili stretched slightly, groaning as he felt Fili move to align their bodies together. "I don't think I can go again."

"You sure?" Fili asked, bracing himself over Kili and kissing his neck and cheek as his other hand moved down to rub and gently finger Kili's hole. "Because this says maybe you're willing."

Kili rolled and reached up, pulling Fili into a kiss. "How about I find a toy and fuck you with it since I think I'm a little tired out."

Fili grinned against his lips. "Sex fiend."

"Give me a breather and we'll see about getting your ass on the line, because, I gotta say. I'm going to enjoy playing with it."

"You like my ass that much?" Fili asked as Kili kissed the smile off his face. "Why?"

Kili reached down and grabbed two handfuls of Fili's rear. "Firm and round and incredible in jeans. Watching you bend over sometimes is bad because I want nothing more than to grab you and eat you out like that. Like, people should write sonnets about your ass. If I could compose a song I'd do it myself."

"You're insane," Fili laughed, kissing Kili to quiet him. "It's a good thing I like you and the sex is amazing or I'd have to run in terror."

Kili laughed and kissed him back, twining his body together with Fili's. He felt so good, better than he had felt in weeks, maybe even months. Fili pulled away for a moment to pull the blankets up around them before kissing him again, the two trying to erase any distance between them as they fell asleep.

:::

Fili held onto his headboard as Kili slowly thrust into him. “You’re so tight,” Kili groaned.

“B-been a bit,” Fili groaned. He let go of the headboard, leaning back into Kili as they moved together. Kili nibbled on his neck, Fili grabbing his hand as they moved together. Kili whispered dirty words of praise into Fili’s ear, making his skin feel tight and burn at the same time. He wanted so much, aching for more of the same pleasure and need and want as Kili rode him to completion.

“Fuck,” Fili murmured, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. “We’re doing that again.”

Kili grinned and slid down Fili’s body, rolling him over. “Of course we are, lovely.” He licked and kissed his way down Fili’s spine before grabbing Fili’s ass and pulling his cheeks apart before burying his face and tongue in his ass. Fili gasped, grabbing the pillow and biting into it to keep quiet as Kili ate him out.

:::

“Hey, you two planning on coming out of the bedroom anytime soon?” Ori asked, knocking on the door. “Bilbo wants to know if--”

He heard the shout--Fili, this time--and the sound of the bed slamming harder into the wall. He flushed and walked away, shaking his head. Fili and Kili had been in there for almost two days, doing nothing but fucking and talking and whatever else because Ori could only hear them talking or fucking. It was ridiculous, but it made sense in a way. The tension between them had snapped and they were making up for lost time. Ori also personally knew how desperately good and hungry for sex Kili was. Fili, with his repression? He was probably just as bad as Kili at this point.

:::

Fili smiled as Kili curled up against his chest. “So,” he said, running his fingers through Kili’s long hair. “Am I still some delicate flower?”

Kili nuzzled him, tucking his head under Fili’s chin. “Nooooo,” he said sleepily. “Think we have thoroughly deflowered the flowery part.”

“You make no sense.”

“You fucked my sense out,” Kili snickered. “Still important, still mine.”

“Yours?”

“My Fili,” Kili said in sleepy contentment. “You’re all I need.”

“Good,” Fili said, closing his eyes. “You’re all I need too.”

:::

"So how did you actually kill your phone?" Fili asked as he lounged on Bard's couch two days later. They’d managed to pry themselves away from each other to grab clean clothes for Kili and his replacement phone with the intent of going out and wandering around before heading back to Fili’s for more sex. There was no one like Fili, no one. No one even came close to how Fili felt and how he made Kili feel...

Kili pulled his phone from the packaging the insurance company had sent and followed the instructions to get it activated and working, trying to distract himself before he pounced Fili. "I don't remember, but it must have been epic."

"Why have you been..." Fili waved a hand around.

Kili glanced at the phone in his hand. "Uhm. It's complicated." He didn’t exactly want to admit how fucked up he’d been after the whole ordeal with Thranduil. Part of it was shame--okay, most of it was shame--but the rest of it was wanting to put it all behind him. He couldn’t be that person anymore, not when he had Fili. There was just something about him that made Kili want to be...better.

"Okay," Fili said, accepting what Kili said with no more pushing. Kili set the phone down on the coffee table as it did it's thing, crawling into Fili's lap and kissing him. Fili chuckled, hands grabbing Kili's ass and pulling him in. They pressed close, hands roving, making out like teenagers who had just discovered kissing. They barely registered the door opening and the sound of two voices talking before going quiet.

"Birdie?" came a voice. It was high pitched and twisted, like someone had just been told they had been fed poison and ground glass.

Kili pulled away from Fili's mouth, jerking back like he'd been electrocuted, as he stared at Thranduil and Bard over Fili's shoulder. Thranduil looked like Kili had shot him, his eyes wide and mouth slightly slackened, leaning back into the door. Bard's eyebrows were trying to mate with his hair line and he looked...almost disappointed.

"Hello," Fili said slowly. "Thranduil, right? Legolas's dad."

Thranduil looked at Kili, his face hardening. "He still doesn't know?"

"What's to know?" Kili asked, reaching down and grabbing Fili's hand and holding tight. The blond glanced at him, frowning, but held his hand.

Thranduil's lips thinned. "That you sleep with anything that moves while in committed relationships."

"Kili?" Fili asked, looking at him.

"I don't--" Kili whispered in shock.

"You don't? You don't what, want to admit what a slut you are?" Thranduil asked. "Four years, Kili, and you fucked your way through most of Boston and I was fine with it because you came home to me, to me and Legolas and Tauriel and Mara--"

"Mara was all yours," Kili said, sliding off Fili's lap. "The two of us have no interest on each other. She was there long before I was and she'll be there for you long after I'm gone. Because that's who you are."

Bard looked back and forth between the two and sat down next to a shell-shocked Fili.

"I don't care how many people you've fucked, I care about the idiot over there you've decided is worth throwing everything away for!" Thranduil snapped. He and Kili had gotten right up in each other's faces just they always did when they fought for real. Most of the time it would end with them grabbing at each other and fucking the anger out, but now? Now...

"He is not--"

"Well?" Thranduil asked Fili, a hand grabbing Kili's wrist and shaking him. "You want someone who can't keep their legs closed? Someone who will never be yours because he's a slut for whatever sex he can get from whoever he can have it from. Yeah, he'll come home to you, but he'll smell like the cocks shoved up his ass and the pussy he's banged before he begs you for yours. Yours will always be best but it will never be be the only one."

Kili stared at Thranduil in shock and hurt. Was that really how Thranduil saw him? Some slut?

“Kili?” Fili asked.

“It’s not--”

“Four years. Three-hundred and sixty-five days. That’s over fourteen hundred people,” Thranduil said. “That doesn’t count some of the parties I know you’ve been to with others, with Bard--”

“Leave me out of this,” Bard said. He looked angry. “I was trying to fix things for you two, not have you attack my best friend.”

“Who, what, is paying rent on his back?” Thranduil demanded. “Those parties were no better than orgies.”

Kili flinched away.

“So, what is it that I’m supposed to know that I don’t?” Fili asked, standing up from the couch and looking at Thranduil. His hands were in his front pockets and he wasn’t looking at Kili. “That Kili was--”

“Is.”

Fili frowned. “Was your boyfriend while you have a woman you are dating and two children involved. Kili has slept with...a lot of people. And you broke up with him because he, what. Didn’t tell me about you?”

“We are taking a break,” Thranduil said.

“No we’re not,” Kili said. “You kicked me out. You’ve been avoiding my texts and spending time with me when we were fucking since I meet him.”

“I’m going to leave,” Fili said. “This has nothing to do with me.”

“This has everything to do with you,” Thranduil snapped. “The two of you have finally fucked. Things are over and Kili can come home.”

“They’re not done!”

“Yes, they are,” Fili said quietly at the same time.

“What?” Kili asked, turning to look at Fili.

“I can’t,” Fili said. “I’m sorry, Kili, but I can’t do this. This just got...way too complicated way too fast.”

“But, Fili,” Kili whispered. Fili shook his head, snagging his jacket and walking around Thranduil to leave Bard’s apartment. 

“Come back home, Kili,” Thranduil said.

Kili stared at the door. “Fili…”

“Come home,” Thranduil said, reaching out and tugging Kili in for a hug.

Kili pushed against him weakly, “No. Fili, I. Bard?”

Bard shook his head and Kili felt his knees buckle. Thranduil wrapped an arm around his waist and held him close. “Kili?” he asked, frowning and looking worried.

“No,” Kili said, trying to push away from Thranduil. “No, Fili, I need--”

Thranduil stroked Kili’s back gently, hushing him as Kili pushed at him.

=

Kili laid curled up in bed, his bed, Thranduil’s bed, and tried to ignore the world. His hands-on labs were over and all he had were classes...and midterms were coming up. His professors were going to destroy him for missing class but he honestly just couldn’t care less. Thranduil had tried to tempt him out of bed earlier but had given up when Kili had just rolled over and ignored him.

They’d left him alone for the most part, no one really sure what to make of him now. Kili felt broken, damaged, ashamed...he had never felt that bad before. He hadn’t ever felt bad about his lifestyle and his choices. Not until it had cost him Fili and he’d heard how Thranduil apparently saw him. That hurt more than anything he could ever have thought.

“Kili?” Legolas asked from the door. Kili closed his eyes, trying to hide in his pillow. He’d been living with Legolas and Tauriel for years, what impact had he had on them? Had he damaged them like he was damaged? How could Thranduil have left him alone with the children if he felt… Kili looked up as Legolas sat on the bed, kicking his shoes off before crawling under the covers with him. “Hi.”

Kili stared at him before trying to scoot away. Legolas pouted and followed, somehow managing to get Kili’s arms around him and cuddling in close. 

“We’ve missed you,” Legolas said simply.

Kili swallowed, his throat thick. He felt another body sitting on the bed and crawling under the covers, and the light of a cell phone. He tried to smile as Tauriel spooned up behind him, cuddling without actually cuddling.

“We know Thranduil was a dick,” Tauriel said. “But that doesn’t mean you have to take him seriously.”

Kili snorted softly. “It’s not his fault.” His voice sounded rough and low.

“Yeah it is,” Legolas said.

“Totally,” Tauriel said. The cell phone was still on and sound came out.

“Look,” Thranduil’s voice said. “Just, call me back, okay? I didn’t mean, I did, I just. Kili. Come home, please? I’m sorry. We can work this out.”

Kili closed his eyes. “Which one of you hacked my phone?”

“A, new phone,” Tauriel said. “You never put a new passcode on it. B, visual voicemail. I don’t need to hack your phone. You left it out like an open invitation.”

“When are we shipping you off to MIT again?” Kili asked.

“Hey Kili, it’s Fili. Haven’t seen you in the shop in a bit. Me and Ori are kind of worried. You’re not cheating on us with Starbucks, right?” There was a forced chuckle. “Call me back, okay? Just want to make sure you’re okay. Uhm, bye.”

Kili closed his eyes, pressing his tongue to his palate to try and stave off the tears.

“You really like him,” Legolas said, petting Kili’s hair.

“Yeah, well, he hates me now,” Kili mumbled, freeing a hand to rub at his eyes. His throat felt itchy and his nose felt all stuffed up. He hated crying; he hated trying not to cry even more.

“Why?” Tauriel asked. “Cuz looking at all these texts he sent when your other phone was off says that he’s got it pretty bad for you.”

“Yeah, well. He knows about me now,” Kili said. “That I’m nothing more than a slut.” He hesitated. “You guys know that you shouldn’t do what I do, right? Or what your dad does. You guys should try and find someone who loves you and you love and stay with them.”

“You’re not a slut,” Tauriel said, still playing around on Kili’s phone. “You just show people you like them in a different way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.”

“Yeah,” Legolas said. “You’re one of the most caring people out there, Kili. So you show people you love them by being physical. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is,” Kili whispered. “It really is.”

“You really like this Fili guy, hunh?” Tauriel asked.

“I think I love him,” Kili said, muffled by the pillow he had turned his head into.

Legolas stroked his hair. “Does that mean you’d leave us? If things worked out with Fili, you’d move out and leave dad, leave us.”

“It won’t work out with him,” Kili said. He leaned in and kissed Legolas’s forehead, reaching back and snagging one of Tauriel’s hands and giving it a squeeze. “I’m not going anywhere, guys.”

:::

“This is a bad idea,” Tauriel said, sweeping her red hair over her shoulder. “This is such a bad idea.”

“Shut up,” Legolas said. “You wanted to help Kili, right? Well, this will help him.”

“Or completely blow up in our faces,” Tauriel said."I'm going to go with blows up in our faces."

"You saw those text messages. They really, really like each other."

"And Kili is really, really going to kill us," Tauriel said. She sighed and followed him into the cafe with a tiny huff of annoyance. 

“Hi, welcome to The Hollow, how can we help you?” a man with a horrible bowlcut and freckles asked.

Legolas grabbed Tauriel’s hand and dragged her to the counter. “We’re looking for Fili?” he said.

“Idiot,” Tauriel sighed.

The man’s smile faltered and he shook his head. “Why are you looking for Fili?”

“I’m Legolas, she’s Tauriel,” Legolas said. “We live with Kili--”

The man groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. “Kids, don’t. This is probably one of the worst times to talk to Fili about Kili.”

“When would be best?” Legolas asked.

“Never?”

Tauriel shook her head. “Not going to happen,” she said. “Now is a little early, yeah, but Legolas is worried.”

“Like you’re not,” Legolas said.

“Oh, no, I am,” Tauriel said. “I just don’t think there’s anything to cry over just yet.”

The man sighed. “I’m Ori,” he said. He snagged a card for the cafe and scribbled his name on the back. “Call the store, ask for me, and I’ll let you know when would be good.”

Tauriel took the card before Legolas could and shoved it in her purse. “Awesome.”

“Tauriel,” Legolas hissed.

“So, can I get a half cocoa and half coffee?”

Ori blinked and smiled. “You related to Kili?”

“Nope, but I steal his coffee all the time,” Tauriel said with a grin. “The Frog Prince over there is gonna have a chai and he’s going to like it.”

“Tauriel!”

“I love how he does that, this little hiss of my name like it can be substituted for any other word,” Tauriel said with a sly smirk at Legolas and handing Ori her credit card.

Ori smiled, swiped it, and handed it back. “I am very familiar with the practice.”

:::

“Birdie,” Thranduil said, sitting down on the bed next to Kili and gently touching his shoulder. “C’mon, look at me.”

Kili turned away, tugging at a pillow and pulling it over his head.

“Can we get over this childishness?” Thranduil asked. “You’re home where you’re supposed to be.”

Kili squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before crawling out of bed and locking himself in the bathroom. 

“Kili,” Thranduil said stiffly from the other side of the door.

Kili sat on the cold, tiled floor as he drew his knees to his chest and buried his face in his knees.

“Kili,” Thranduil said again.

Kili remained quiet, sitting in the dark, wanting Thranduil to just go away...

“Fine. This isn’t over yet.” The sound of Thranduil walking away was a blessed one.

:::

"Mr Haegan, are you sure you want to take a leave of absence?” his advisor asked.

Kili slouched down in his chair, hands in his pockets. “I’ve got a lot of personal things going on right now, some family things too. I’m thinking just this semester off from classes. I’ve got an offer to help out as an EMT so I’m going to use that to keep myself up to speed. I just don’t think I can dedicate my full attention to my studies right now.”

“This is your capstone,” his advisor said. “Your last--”

“Is there any way?”

His advisor shook his head. “You’re too far in. If you just drop then it’s not...I wouldn’t recommend it.”

Kili let his head fall back and squeezed his eyes closed tight. “Okay.”

“You can’t.”

Kili raised his head and nodded. “Okay.”

“You are a very intelligent man, Mr Haegan. You’re going to do fine. Your labs and all of your proposed tests are doing well. If you continue the way you’re going you are going to be fine. Even if you have distractions.”

Kili nodded and stood. “Okay.”

“Tell me the minute you need help, Mr Haegan. If it becomes too much, if your tests start making no sense and you can’t read the data, ask for help. There are plenty of us willing to help you out.”

Kili nodded again and gave his advisor a tight smile. “Okay.”

:::

Kili closed the door slowly behind him, letting his bag drop to the ground. He leaned against the door and looked around. This...this wasn’t home anymore. This was pain and hell and as much as he loved the kids he really couldn’t do this anymore.

“Hey,” Thranduil said, coming out of his office. Kili looked at him, his bare feet, his perfectly creased dress pants, his rolled up shirt sleeves, the loose tie, his hair flowing around his shoulders. He was everything Kili had ever wanted before. Someone who loved him. Someone like him. But it turned out to be a lie. “Kili?”

Kili shook his head, turning away from Thranduil and heading for the stairs. He half-expected the arm around his waist and the hard body against his back. He allowed himself to be turned around and pulled close. He jerked back when he felt Thranduil’s lips against his, the hand around his waist keeping him from moving. He pushed against Thranduil, trying to break away, but the older man kept him close. 

“Thran, stop,” Kili said when they broke for air. Thranduil tugged him close, a hand working at Kili’s jeans. He was still kissing him, along Kili’s neck and jaw, brushing his lips close.

Kili shook his head, “No, Thran, please don’t.”

Only he didn’t. Kili squeezed his eyes shut, thrusting his knee up as he pushed out with his arms. Thranduil went down and fell back, giving Kili the chance to run out of the house. He didn’t grab his bag or keys or phone, just ran.

:::

Cress Haegan looked Kili in the eye with crossed arms and an annoyed expression from the door to her apartment. “Kili.”

“Hey,” Kili said.

“Kat said you were staying with her and Biff.”

“Uh, I was?” Kili said. It had started to rain on his run across Boston and he was soaked, cold, and shivering. Cress, however, was not allowing him inside her apartment.

“And then you shacked up with Bard. Who said you met someone and then you went back to Thranduil.”

Kili thrust his hands into his jeans pockets. “Yeah.”

“And now you’re here.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t have time for this, Kili,” Cress said. “Go to Kat, she’ll be a lot more sympathetic to--”

“I need your help,” Kili said. “I’ll go stay with Kat, yeah, but she and Bifur don’t need me under foot. You know they’re trying to have a baby. And, well. You’re in real estate. You can help.”

“Help with what?”

“I need an apartment,” Kili said. “I’ll go, just, can you help me find an apartment?”

Cress arched an eyebrow. “Why.”

“Because I’m leaving Thranduil,” Kili said. “I can’t do it anymore.”

“Can’t do…?”

“Cress, look, I know you hate how I live my life. I know you hate Thranduil and everything--”

“I introduced the two of you,” Cress said crisply. “You have no idea how I feel.”

“So help me out here. I need an apartment.” Kili laughed, trying not to notice how hysterical he sounded. “I’ve got four years of income from Thranduil for taking care of Legolas, and most of my wages from random jobs before then. I’ve got plenty of money for a security deposit and rent. Just, Cress, please. I can’t do this anymore.”

Cress reached out and grabbed Kili by his shirt, pulling him inside the apartment and pushing him into the bathroom. “Drip in there. I’m going to get you a towel and call Kat.”

Kili nodded and stood on the bathmat, trying to make as little mess as he could. Cress had been friends with Thranduil for years, had actually dated at one point, but neither of them hadn’t ever really cared before. Cress was twelve years older than him and almost barely in his life but she was still in Thranduil’s to a point. She hated that they were together, whether it was because of the age difference or because Cress had gotten there first… It didn’t matter.

Cress passed him a towel. “Kat said she’ll be here as soon as she can.”

Kili nodded and started drying himself off. “Sorry. I’ll keep out of the way until she gets here.”

“Shut up and I’ll cook you dinner,” Cress said with a sigh. “Shoes off.”

Kili nodded and toed off his converse, leaving them to continue to leak water in the tub. He peeled off his socks and his t-shirt, hesitating before chucking his jeans over the shower rod and walking into the kitchen. Cress was setting a pot of tea on the stove and handed Kili a bottle of beer when he joined her.

“What happened with you and Thranduil?”

Kili sat down at the kitchen table and sighed. “What hasn’t.”

“What do you want to eat?” Cress asked. “And be more specific.”

“Don’t care. He says he loves me but he thinks I’m a cheating slut who can’t keep it in his pants but feels threatened by the one guy I didn’t sleep with and then breaks up with me and kicks me out and then when I actually sleep with him and I think I’m starting to get over Thranduil he shows up and yells at me and says...says these things and. And everything’s just. How did it get to be such a mess?”

“Kili,” Cress said.

“I don’t think I can stand being around him anymore,” Kili said. “Today was just...the last straw.”

Cress was silent, sighing before moving around the kitchen and putting a sandwich in front of him. Kili poked at it for a moment before picking it up and taking a bite, chewing slowly and trying not to dwell on what a disaster his life had become. Part of him wanted to resent Fili, to hate him, to blame all of this on the fact that he’d decided to duck into a coffee shop after a long day of running his theories and watching doctors and...and fallen. In a way he never had before. If he had just gone home instead everything would still be okay.

Even he knew what a lie that was.

“Tell me about this guy,” Cress said. She was leaning against the back of Kili’s chair and had leaned down to press a kiss to the top of his head.

“His name is Fili,” Kili said. “I don’t actually know that much about him but he’s...important. Amazing. He makes me want to be a better person and to spend hours just watching him. He works with cars and works in a cafe. Went to Johnson and Wales and has issues with cheating.”

Cress pointed to Kili’s foot. “Clarity?”

“Should have been my first clue, hunh?” Kili asked. “That I was in trouble. But when I’m with him, or think about him, everything just seems so much...clearer. Crisper. Like things make sense around him.”

Cress shook her head. “Kid, you’ve got it so bad you don’t even know.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” Kili admitted.

“You’re twenty-five,” Cress said, sitting in her own chair. “You’re not supposed to know what you’re doing. You’re supposed to fuck up. And boy, have you fucked up.”

“So how do I fix it?” Kili asked, setting his sandwich down and taking a long drink of his beer.

“You don’t,” Cress said. “You let everything work itself out. You give your guy his space. You try and figure yourself out. If things are meant to be with Fili then they’ll work out. If not, get over it and move on. Take it as a learning experience and a lesson, and go from there.”

“That sounds like it sucks,” Kili said.

“It sounds like life,” Cress said. She looked annoyed, disgusted, and affectionate all at once. “You know, I used to resent you.”

Kili squirmed in his seat. “Yeah, I know.”

“Accident baby,” Cress said, taking Kili’s hand and turning it over in hers. “Miracle baby. Whatever you want to call it. Everyone loved you. You’ve never had any sort of trouble in your entire life. You want this, you want that, and you get it. You charm everyone and even when you leave them in your wake they still love you. You have no idea how much I hated that.”

Kili tried to tug his hand away from Cress, feeling shame building in his chest.

“And now you finally have absolutely nothing going your way and I want nothing more than to protect you.”

Kili froze, staring at her.

“I have an idea of what Thranduil tried tonight and I’m pretty sure once Kat gets you into her car that I’m going to call him up and give him a piece of my mind,” Cress said. “You’re family, and the only one allowed to hurt my family is my family.”

“We do a pretty good job of that,” Kili said.

Cress grinned. “We’re a pretty ridiculous bunch, aren’t we? You took Thranduil from me, Kat snagged Bifur from Dahlia...I don’t think Bella’s taken anyone lately.”

“She stole Kat’s prom date that one year,” Kili said.

“Oh yeah,” Cress said with a grin. “Baby Bella, even more spoiled than you.”

Kili wrinkled his nose. “I’m not spoiled.”

Cress snorted. “Yeah, sure you’re not. So, while we wait for Kat, catch me up on you. How’s med school?”


	6. Chapter 6

Kili ended up with a decent apartment in the Back Bay. Cress had bargained the owners down and had gotten Kili in there in a short amount of time with a month-to-month lease, something unheard of in Boston proper. Somehow all of his stuff from Thranduil’s had ended up packed up and on a truck when Kili had moved in on the first of November. He’d spent Halloween hiding at Kat’s, watching scary movies in the guest room, ignoring her party and the kids who came around asking for candy. He ignored Bard and his other friends’s requests to go out that night, wanting to wallow in his misery instead of putting on a happy face for everyone else.

Now, though, he looked around at the mass of empty boxes and realized exactly how empty his life was. He didn’t have any posters or paintings or wall art or anything. He had gone out to buy sheets and pillows, his own bed, furniture he had never needed before. Almost everything in his apartment was from Ikea simply because he didn’t care anymore, and even all of the stuff he had now had been picked out by Bella. She’d driven him and paid for most of it, saying that the babies needed to stick together and it wasn’t like they hadn’t planned on doing it for him anyway years ago.

It didn’t mean he had to like it.

He kicked aside most of the boxes and sat down on the floor, dragging his guitar close and starting to play. It was too quiet here.

:::

“Kid’s here to see you again,” Ori said.

Fili sighed. “He’s ridiculous. He’s here almost every day now.”

Bofur opened the oven and pulled out the pans of scones. “Would you just go talk to him?”

“There is nothing he has to say that I’m interested in,” Fili said. He started peeling more apples, tossing them in the big stock pot to be chopped up later. 

“You think Kili put him up to it,” Ori said.

“Kili is the one he’s all hung up on who had the secret boyfriend and family, right?” Bofur asked. Fili flinched and accidentally peeled part of his nail. “The really pretty one?”

“Med student, yeah,” Ori said.

“Doesn’t sound like the type to send kids to do his dirty work,” Bofur said. He grabbed pans full of new dough and shoved them into the oven, winding their old timer and setting it down before fixing his fraying braid. “Why don’t you talk to him, Fili?”

“Because I’m busy?” Fili said. “I’ve got apple butter to make. It’s Friday so I’ve got the soups to make for later too. I’ve got work. Kid can go home and tell Kili that I’m not interested. That way we can all drop it and get on with our lives.”

“I don’t think it’s that simple,” Ori said.

“It’s not,” a girl said. 

The three of them turned to see an anxious looking Legolas and a slender girl with red hair and a pissed off expression. 

“Who are you?” Fili asked.

“She’s the one who’s usually with Legolas,” Ori said. “Tauriel, right?”

“Yeah,” Tauriel said. “Look, yeah, before we might have been all, hey, you know, Kili’s not a bad guy, the situation sucks but yadda yadda.”

“Before?” Fili asked.

“He moved out,” Legolas said. “We don’t know where he is and we’re worried.”

“You’re worried,” Tauriel corrected.

“Like you’re not,” Legolas said, nudging her with a dark look. “You like Kili just as much as me. He let you get away with so much crap and covered for you when you decided you were sick of us.”

“He did the same for you,” Tauriel said.

“Of course he did,” Legolas said. “Kili likes keeping the peace.”

Bofur laughed. “Kids, maybe you’ll wanna fight this out later?”

Legolas flushed slightly but squared his shoulders. “Have any of you seen Kili lately?”

“Sorry, no,” Fili said. Ori shook his head.

“Any phone calls?” Tauriel asked. “Texts? Emails?”

“Nothing,” Ori said.

“You ever think maybe he’s avoiding you?” Fili asked.

“Of course he’s avoiding us,” Tauriel said. She rolled her eyes. “That’s obvious. I didn’t think he was avoiding here though.”

“He is,” Fili said. “So you lot can stop coming by every day.”

“Did you try looking at the hospital?” Ori asked. “Isn’t he there for some class or other?”

“A couple of them,” Legolas said. “But the nurses like him and probably have some idea what’s going on because they won’t talk to us.”

Fili frowned. He leaned against the shiny metal counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”

“Sure,” Tauriel said. “Can we have food and drink?” She flashed a charming smile at them that had Bofur laughing and going to grab them sodas and a plate for the fresh scones. Legolas hopped up to sit on one of the clean counters while Tauriel found a chair and sat.

“Start talking,” Fili said once they were settled.

“My dad and Kili met about four, almost five, years ago at a party Kili’s sister was throwing. Kili was just staring medical school after having dropped pre-law and was kind of drifting between things. They hooked up and stuff. Eventually Kili moved in and started helping with me when I was diagnosed. And things were good.”

“Me and my mom already lived with them,” Tauriel said. “We’ve been living with them since I was little.”

“She’s older than me,” Legolas said.

“By two years,” Tauriel said. “Anyway, things were good. Kili’s a bit of a slut--”

“He is not!” Legolas said. He aimed a kick at Tauriel, frowning. 

“No, c’mon. Okay, slut was the wrong word. He uses his body to show how much he likes people,” Tauriel said. “It really isn’t a big deal most of the time.”

“It was a big deal this time,” Fili said.

“It has been a big deal before, hasn’t it?” Ori asked.

“A shouting match or two, but nothing like what happened with you,” Legolas said.

“How do you know any of this?” Ori asked. Bofur shelved the cooked pastries and waited, listening to them. “I mean, you guys are kids. I’d think that your parents would shield you.”

“Yeah, they do,” Legolas said.

“My mom flies around on business all the time,” Tauriel said. “She’s a public relations manager with Pearson Publishing so she’s all over the place. Thranduil has papers and his own students and a lot of academic work. Kili is the one who always had time for us. Yeah, he had school and his own social life and stuff but he would always take our calls and he would always help us if we needed it.”

“He’s ours,” Legolas said. “No matter what happens with the adult stupidity, he’s ours. And now he’s. He’s hurt. I know dad did something bad and that’s why Kili left but.” He took a deep breath.

“But nothing,” Tauriel said. “We heard the voicemails and the text messages before. You two are friends, more than friends. And we know you two hooked up and then things went from bad to worse and just.”

“My dad kicked Kili out,” Legolas said. “That night when you and he met. I got home and Kili and some of his stuff was gone. Then things were quiet and then dad brought Kili home and he didn’t get out of bed for like, a week. And then he goes out of the house and then he’s just gone. And then Cress comes to the house and she and dad go out to the garage and even there I can hear them yelling.”

“Sounds like they broke up that first time,” Bofur said.

Tauriel shrugged. “Who knows. Kili probably saw it as such. He left and took some of his stuff.”

“That doesn’t--”

Fili shook his head and walked out of the kitchen and out back into the alley with the dumpsters. He had his hands on his hips and took a deep breath, ignoring the smell of rotting trash. He didn’t want to think about what the kids might be saying. What he thought they were saying. It didn’t mean anything, Kili and Thranduil being broken up or not. The situation was still more complicated than he wanted to get involved in. It was murky and grey and no one knew what was going on with anyone.

Maybe he had acted harshly in Bard’s apartment.

Maybe he had jumped the gun.

Maybe...maybe...maybe… Too many goddamned maybes.

:::

Tauriel tapped out Kili’s number and waited for the ring. 

_The number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please hang up and dial again._

:::

“Kili,” Bard said, watching him. “You gotta get over this.”

“Busy,” Kili said as his fingers flew across the keys. “I’m actually doing pretty good with my research. I just need to focus on that instead of everything else.”

“Kili.”

Kili hit save and looked up. “What?”

“C’mon, let’s get some food and relax. Beorn’s going to meet up with us later, same with Jason and Cass. I was thinking we could go to the one of the open mic nights, get a couple of beers, listen to some music.”

“You want me to play,” Kili said.

“You know, that’d be a great idea,” Bard said with a smile. “It’s been forever since I’ve heard you play.”

“It hasn’t been forever,” Kili said. He looked down at his hands, at the keyboard.

“Six plus months is almost forever,” Bard said. He flopped down on Kili’s bed, arms spread wide, feet kicked up on the footboard.

Kili glanced at the screen and then back at Bard. “Bard…”

Bard smiled at him. “There’s a reason you get called birdie, Kili. So, c’mon, open mic night. You can sing, we can drink, we can eat, we can laugh, relax. You need it, I need it, we all need it.”

“I’m not in the mood to hook up,” Kili said, getting to his feet.

“Did I say anything about hooking up?” Bard asked. “I said music, food, booze, and friends.”

Kili opened his closet and pulled out a pair of baggy and ripped up jeans, a long sleeved shirt and a ratty Captain America t-shirt. He peeled himself out of his sleep clothes and tugged on the new ones, going into the bathroom to brush his hair, teeth, and slather on some deodorant. He found his Timberlands and shoved his feet into them, snagging a black hoodie and zipping it up.

“Okay,” Kili said from the door to his bedroom. “Let’s go.”

Bard looked up from his phone and laughed. “Wow, yeah, you wouldn’t score looking like that even if you were trying. You wanna grab your guitar and we’ll get out of here?”

Kili nodded and went to the corner of the living room he’d set it last night.

“So you remember what I asked you a couple weeks back? About five things you like about yourself?”

Kili buckled his guitar into its case. “Bard, I am currently loving absolutely nothing about myself except the way I’m exceptionally talented at fucking everything up.”

Bard coughed. “Right, okay. You wanna hit up the place by Fenway or Berklee?”

“How about Central?” Kili said. “That way no chance of anyone who knows me.”

“Boston’s a small town,” Bard pointed out.

“I don’t care,” Kili said. “Central has some pretty decent places.”

Bard nodded. “Okay then. Central Square it is.”

:::

Fili sat at the bar, watching as Nori and Dwalin flirted as Nori wiped down the counters. Ori was periodically tossing peanuts at his brother, gagging every now and then when Nori or Dwalin caught him at it, smiling when they weren’t.

“Stop harassing them,” Fili said as he took a drink of his beer. 

“I’m a little brother,” Ori said. “This is part of my job.”

Fili shook his head, smiling. “I’m suddenly insanely glad I don’t have any siblings.”

“Mores the pity,” Ori said. “Siblings are awesome.”

“You say that but Kili--” Fili choked on his words and stared at Ori.

Ori frowned and nudged Fili. “You know, maybe you should think about calling him.”

Fili groaned, letting his head thunk down on the bar. “I did,” he said. “Number’s been disconnected.”

“Probably got it changed,” Ori said. “You said Kili would tell you about his friend Bard, right? The tour guide?” Fili nodded. “Go through the Trail and see if you can find any guides by the name of Bard.”

“That sounds slightly stalkerish.”

“It kind of is,” Ori said. “But you, I think, you… The two of you need to talk. You spent almost a week screwing like rabbits, completely wrapped up in each other, talking about everything--”

“And how much of that was lies?”

“--and then this bomb goes off and it’s like. No. You two need to talk. Something is seriously wrong on his end and, I mean, did you ever think that maybe he kept stepping out on that guy because he wasn’t getting something rather than--”

“Four years. Multiple partners. Four _years_ of constant cheating.”

“Fili. Stop being a dickhead. I know you. You’re better than this.”

“Am I?” Fili asked. “Am I honestly better than all this? Because I gotta tell you, I don’t think I am, not anymore. I think Violet seriously fucked me up.”

“I’ve been saying that for over a year now,” Ori said. He waved Nori and Dwalin closer. “Hey, guess what. Fili’s finally admitted Violet fucked him up.”

Dwalin arched an eyebrow, arms crossed. “Finally admitted? You mean you’ve been thinking this whole time that you thought she was perfect and it was all your fault that she couldn’t keep her snatch to herself?”

“Who cares what he thought,” Nori said, reaching back to grab a bottle of Van Gogh Chocolate and Van Gogh Pomegranate vodkas and poured them into a glass before handing it to Fili. “Drink up. It’s about fucking time.”

Fili rolled his eyes, took the glass, and tossed it all back. He coughed and shook his head, eyes squeezed shut. “Fuck that’s strong.”

“Yeah, it’s vodka,” Nori said. He put the bottles back and let Dwalin pull him in close. “You utter moron.”

“You meet anyone who can make you scream as loud as that guy made you scream and you keep hold of them,” Dwalin said. He tucked a hand in Nori’s front pocket, thumb through the other’s belt loop. “You laugh, you scream, you have no problem being stuck in a bedroom with them for two days in a row and you’re golden.”

“Is that why you’re with Nori?” Ori asked, looking innocent. “Cuz he handcuffed you to the bed for two days? Cuz I know it’s not because he’s a nice guy.”

“Fuck off,” Nori said. “I’ll make you pay for your food and booze.”

“Family discount,” Ori sang with a smirk at his brother.

Dwalin grinned widely in amusement. “He makes me laugh,” he said. “He makes me angry. He makes me want to come home and wake up and all that shit. It’s how a relationship should be.”

“When a dirty old biker tells you these things--things your best friend has been telling you for ages--it means you listen because that means they’ve got the right of it,” Ori said, applying a pointy elbow to Fili’s ribs.

“Who you callin’ a dirty old biker?” Dwalin demanded.

“You,” Nori said, leaning into the older man’s bulk. “Because you are one. And I love it.”

“I ain’t got a bike anymore,” Dwalin said.

“Not anymore,” Nori said.

“Yeah, now you’ve got that fucking van,” Fili said. “I swear to fuck, you make me work on that thing again and I’m Scooby Dooing it.”

“Swear to fuck,” Dwalin said with a roll of his eyes.

“AHEM,” Ori said, clearing his throat loudly. “Best friend. Always right best friend. Doesn’t he get some thanks?”

“Nope,” Fili said.

“Know-it-alls get jack,” Nori said, handing Ori another beer. “You should know that from Dori.” Ori wrinkled his nose. “Exactly.”

“So what’re you gonna do now?” Dwalin asked.

“About what?” Fili asked, finishing off his own beer.

“About your screamer,” Nori said. “I think you should find him and see if you can make him scream.”

Fili shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “I can’t do that.”

“Kili changed his number and brainiac over here thinks tracking Kili’s best friend down and asking for his new number is stalkerish,” Ori said.

“It is,” Fili said.

“We could just wait for him to come to us,” Ori said. Fili winced. “Oh for...what did you say?”

Fili ran his finger over the rim of his pint glass, looking at the foamy patterns at the bottom of his glass. “I didn’t actually say that much,” he said. “Just said everything was too complicated for me and walked out.”

“So what’s the problem?” Dwalin asked. “Find him and say you changed your mind, he’s worth complicated.”

“I didn’t defend him as his boyf--his ex. I didn’t stop him from calling him a slut or...the guy just. It got ugly,” Fili said, shifting in his seat. He could still see the look on Kili’s face, the way he looked like he’d gotten smacked. The shock, the self-disgust...Fili knew those emotions well. That was how he had felt after Violet had gotten done with him.

“How bad did it get?” Nori asked.

“Bad,” Fili said softly. “Real bad.”

“Fili…” Ori sighed. “I thought we had taught you better than that.”

“Fuck off,” Fili said. He hesitated. “Actually, I know where Bard lives. Kili took me there.”

“So go find him,” Dwalin said. He pulled his hand free of Nori’s pocket to smack the redhead’s ass. “Find your screamer and don’t let him go.”

Nori glared at Dwalin, grabbing the dish cloth he’d been using and flicking it at him hard enough to crack against his skin. Dwalin laughed and wrestled Nori close, pulling him in for a kiss. Ori rolled his eyes but smiled at Fili. “You should go,” he said.

“Not tonight,” Fili said. He snagged Ori’s beer and took a deep drink. “I don’t think I’m drunk enough. Or sober enough.”

“Soon,” Ori said, pulling his beer away from Fili.

Fili nodded. “Yeah, soon. I can do soon.”

:::

Kili rushed into the emergency room, looking around before snagging a nurse he knew and asking which bed he was in. Getting directions, Kili walked quickly through the halls until he found it.

“You idiot,” Kili said, looking down at Legolas. 

Legolas looked absolutely miserable, curled up on the hospital bed in the thin blanket they must have given him. He looked up at Kili with pathetic blue eyes that had Kili sighed and sitting on the end of the bed.

“Guess we know you’re allergic to another medication, hunh?” Kili asked, looking around the ER.

“Could’ve done without it,” Legolas mumbled.

“Except, of course, that you know you’re allergic to Zofran,” Kili said. “That’s why you take Compazine. Amaranth has Zofran for her migraines. Which means someone took a medicine they knew was going to land them in the ER.”

“Uh…” Legolas said smartly.

“Kili,” Tauriel said, staring at him. She had just arrived, her school bag slung across her body, two bottles of water in hand and a pack of skittles sticking out of her pocket.

“You two are morons,” Kili said.

Tauriel rolled her eyes and set her bag on the floor, handing the water to Legolas. “You changed your number. How else were we supposed to get in touch with you?”

“You two are ridiculous,” Kili said. “First you, Legs, put yourself in the hospital. Then, let me guess, Tauriel said that neither Amaranth or Thranduil were reachable and could you please call Kili he’s one of our emergency contacts he’ll know what to do.”

“You’re good,” Tauriel said with a smile. “Almost word for word.”

“You,” Kili said, pointing a finger at Tauriel, “are a manipulative bitch.”

Tauriel frowned. “Excuse me?”

“Get over here,” Kili said, doing his best to look stern. Tauriel deflated slightly and did, squeaking when Kili hopped off the bed and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry. I never wanted to put you guys in this position.”

Tauriel hugged him back, leaning into him.

“Yeah, well, we’re here,” Legolas croaked. He sipped the water and sniffed, nosing into the pillow. “Deal with it.”

“He gets so bitchy when he’s in the ER,” Tauriel said.

“Language,” Kili said absently. He tapped Legolas’s nose. “You get some rest. They’ve probably pumped you full of Benadryl and that’s the good stuff. I’m gonna get some coffee with Tauriel and we’ll be back, okay?”

Legolas hummed agreement and snuggled down against the bed, closing his eyes. Kili checked his IV and leaned down, grabbing Tauriel’s bag and leading them out and around the corner to the Dunkin Donuts. He let Tauriel snag a table and got them two hot chocolates--warm, thick, and tasting of artificial sweeteners--and pulled her phone out of her hand.

“Hey,” Tauriel protested, trying to get her phone back. Kili rolled his eyes and leaned away, finding him in her contacts and updated his phone number and a couple of other things. He handed it back and watched as she looked at the updated contact. “Okay.”

“You and Legolas can have the number,” Kili said. “You have my Skype and my Google information. Now you have no excuse to pull any other insane stunts to try and grab my attention, okay?”

Tauriel nodded and tucked her phone in her bag. She wrapped her hands around the styrofoam cup and twisted it this way and that. “We miss you.”

Kili winced and leaned back in his chair. “Yeah, I figured. I’m sorry, none of this is fair on either of you.”

“It’s not,” Tauriel said. “And I get why you left, at least I think I do, but it doesn’t make any of this any easier.”

“You know, Bard asked me to tell him five things I’m awesome at that have absolutely nothing to do with other people,” Kili said, taking a sip of his hot chocolate and making a face as it scalded his throat. He coughed a couple of times and smiled through the pain. “The sucky thing was that I couldn’t actually come up with more than two. The third one I kind of skated by on because it didn’t have to do with sex.”

“You’re awesome at a lot of things,” Tauriel protested.

“Yeah but I don’t see it that way,” Kili said. “That’s the main reason I left. If I can’t do anything but define myself by other people and what I am to them then there’s a problem. I need to be able to enjoy me for me and it’s been a very, very long time since I have.”

:::

Fili hesitated for a moment before he knocked on the door. He waited a moment as he heard the chain and the deadbolt being undone and then tried to smile at Bard as he opened his door. “Hi,” he said. “Can we talk?” Bard looked at him and opened the door wider, stepping out of the way. Fili swallowed, feeling nervous, and walked into the apartment as Bard closed the door. “Okay, so. Uhm. Talking.”

Bard snorted and shook his head. “Want a beer? Cuz I think I’m going to need a beer for this.”

“Yes please,” Fili said with feeling. He was definitely going to need a beer. He followed Bard into the kitchen, watching him crack them open, and took the offered beer. He looked at the brown glass bottle for a moment and then took a deep drink of it. “Okay, so. I feel like I should explain.”

Bard shook his head, paused, and then shrugged. “We probably both need to explain.”

Fili stared. “What?”

Bard groaned and rubbed the back of his neck, pointing his beer toward the kitchen table. “Let’s talk.”

“I thought that’s what we were doing?” Fili said, confused as he took a seat.

Bard waved a hand, sipping his beer and setting it down. “Kili is different from your normal run-of-the-mill people.”

“I had noticed,” Fili said dryly.

Bard grinned. “Anyway, being the strange thing he is, he doesn’t do things normally. Apparently you have a thing with cheating, so. It’s incredibly grey on whether they were broken up or not. I think they were, Kili said they weren’t and then they were and then who the hell knows. He was miserable so I was trying to get them back together. That kind of blew up in all our faces.”

“He spent a week with me,” Fili said. “Well. Almost a week.”

“I know that now,” Bard said. “Honestly, I thought he was dodging me because I called him out on his bullshit. Somewhere along the way he went from loving everyone and showing them that with sex and physical affection like hugs and kisses and touchy-feely shit to equating all of that with self-worth. Which...is not how Kili should be. He loves everyone and everything. So I called bullshit and he shut me out. And then you and he are here when I get Thranduil to come talk to me about fixing things. Boom."

"Boom," Fili echoed. He fiddled with his beer before taking a drink. “Legolas and Tauriel said pretty much the same thing which makes me wonder how predictable I am.”

“The kids are getting involved? Shit. That’s not good,” Bard said with a laugh.

“They’re interesting,” Fili said. “But they brought up a good point. They haven’t been able to get in touch with Kili. Did he change his number?”

Bard nodded. “Yeah, when he moved out. Kat or Cress did it for him, most likely." He held out his hand. "Let me see your phone?"

Fili handed it over, watching as Bard changed Kili's number. "You sure you should be doing that?"

"It's for his own good," Bard said. "You don't know Kili like I do." There was a moment of hesitation. "What do you want from him anyway?"

Fili took his phone back and turned it over in his hands. "To be honest, I'm not sure. I want him to be happy. I want to be there for him. I want to see him smile."

"Sounds good to me," Bard said. "Better than anything else he has going on I can tell you that. It might take some time but I'm sure he'll come around."

"Because of everything with Thranduil?" Fili asked.

Bard grinned and took a drink of his beer. "Some of that. Some of some other stuff."

Fili shook his head, smiling. "Okay. I'll trust you to help me out then."

"I like you," Bard said. "I know Kili likes you. We just kind of need to work from there."

:::

Kili looked down at his phone and hesitated.

“You okay?” Bard asked, looking back at Kili as they kept walking.

Kili caught up with him and swerved to avoid running head-on with a tourist. Hei turned his phone around and showed Bard the screen that said he’d gotten a text from FILI. 

“Oh yeah,” Bard said, smiling. “I gave him your new number.”

Kili’s eyes widen and he reached out, punching Bard in the shoulder, nearly sending him crashing into a building. “You asshole! What the hell?” he demanded. He whacked Bard again, smacking him and hitting him repeatedly in annoyance.

“Ow,” Bard said, backing away and rubbing his shoulder, as he laughed.

“Why the hell did you give him my number?”

“It’s not like I gave it to Thranduil,” Bard said. “Him I like.”

“You liked Thran too,” Kili said, stressing the past tense. “You only recently changed your mind.”

Bard shrugged. “Well, it’s not like I knew his opinion of everyone beforehand.”

“No one did,” Kili said. “That’s kind of the point.”

“You want to blame me for jumping the gun?” Bard asked. “Tell me the real story behind that little tattoo of yours again? What was it again, oh, right. Fili is your cup of clarity.”

“I never said--”

“You don’t need to,” Bard said. He smiled as a bus slowed to a halt and they got on. They swiped their passes and grabbed a seat, Kili getting the window seat and slouching down immediately. “C’mon, we’re trying to keep this a cheerful day. What’s the text say?”

Kili pulled his phone out, thumb hovering over the swipe lock, and handed it to Bard. “I can’t.”

“Pussy,” Bard said. He did something and then wiggled the phone at Kili. “You changed your lock code.”

Kili blinked and tapped in the new one without thinking.

“You do realize what you just spelled, right?”

Kili looked at him, finger frozen.

“You didn’t realize it, did you?” Bard asked, going through Kili’s texts. “Your new code. 3454. Fili.”

Kili bit his lip and looked out the window. They were stopped at a light, heading back downtown after spending a couple of hours at the Museum of Fine Arts. There had been a photography exhibit Kili had been excited to see and, rather than going alone, had asked Bard. The other man had been only too happy, feeling that Kili had been pulling away from everyone…

Well, he wasn’t exactly wrong. There were a few friends of his that he was still close with--Beorn at the hospital, Elladan and Elrohir from the center, Balin from the bookstore--that he either hadn’t slept with (Balin) or it had ceased to be an issue long ago. He’d ducked their calls and barely responded to their worried texts but he wasn’t sure how to deal with any of them right now. He wasn’t sure how to deal with anyone anymore.

“He wants to meet for coffee,” Bard said. “I think you should.”

Kili turned and looked at Bard. “Yeah, and why is that?”

“Because, above all, you like him as a friend. So, be friends with him. You know how.”

Kili snatched his phone back and shoved it in his pocket. “Apparently I don’t.”

“Kili…”

“What?” he demanded. “You want me to, to… I can’t just be friends with him, Bard!”

“Because you like him?” Bard asked, shifting in his seat to get a better look at him.

Kili reached up and scrubbed his face with his hands, feeling his stubble catch at his skin. He really needed to shave soon. “No, I don’t. I just. I don’t just like him, okay? He’s...he’s like that one in a million.”

“Is he someone you could see yourself with ten years down the line?” Bard asked. He looked strangely intent, frowning slightly and focusing on Kili in a way he had only seen Bard look at a target on the archery range.

Kili hesitated, looking away and down at his lap. He didn’t want all that intensity focused on him. “I think… I think he’s someone I could spend years with and never want anything else.”

Bard nodded and shifted back in his seat. “Hey, where do you wanna grab food? I’m starving.”

:::

Kili hesitated before hitting the call button and fidgeted with a dirty knife on his kitchen table. It took a moment before the other person picked up the phone.

“Hi Kili,” Fili said.

Kili licked his lips. “Hey,” he said nervously. “You, uh, you texted me.”

“Yeah, I got your number from Bard. Sorry for kind of ambushing you, I just, you changed your number and I didn’t know how to get in touch with you.”

“No, no, it’s--uh. It’s cool.” Kili cleared his throat and let the knife drop to the table, rubbing his fingers free of the butter and crumbs. “You said you wanted to meet up for coffee?”

“Yeah, if you want. It doesn’t have to be coffee, could be anything, really.”

Kili slumped in his seat. Fili sounded so eager, so relieved, and he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“Just, I figure we need to talk and coffee in neutral, right? You mean a lot to me, Kili, and I don’t. Things happened and we should, we need to, talk about it?”

“You don’t sound so sure,” Kili said, trying not to laugh. 

“No, I am sure. We need to meet up and talk. I want to see you.”

“Why?” Kili asked, voice soft. “I mean, what happened…”

“That’s why I want to see you,” Fili said firmly. “I want to talk to you face-to-face, make sure we’re both on the same page and there aren’t any misunderstandings.”

Kili nodded, mulling the words over. That sounded...it sounded nice. A good way to try and get things on track. But did he want things on track? He knew Fili was something special for him, to him, and he wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. Willpower wasn’t something he was known for, apparently, not in the face of temptation, and Fili was every sort of temptation rolled up into one small and enticing package.

“Kili?”

“Oh, uh. Yeah, okay,” Kili said. “Coffee would be good.”

“Er, maybe not coffee,” Fili said after a moment. “I’m a little opinionated about the coffee at other places.”

Kili couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “So why don’t you make something for us?”

“Yeah, sure. We close early on Sundays, want to come by after hour?”

“After hours?” Kili asked. He licked his lips, his throat suddenly dry. That would mean they’d be alone and that...that might not be a good thing.

“Or, you know, you can come during hours and meet Bilbo. I can stick him with the customers and sit back and laugh at him trying to figure everything out.”

“That, uh, that sounds good,” Kili said softly. 

“Okay, good!” Fili said, sounding cheerful. “So, Sunday around one?”

“Yeah, okay,” Kili said. He tried to suck it up, to not quail in a corner, to be brave. “Sunday at one.”

“I’m glad you called,” Fili said after a moment. “I really am.”

Kili bit his lip and tried to smile. “Yeah, I am too. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Okay,” Fili said. “Bye.”

“Bye,” Kili echoed before hanging up. He stared at the phone in his hand and slouched forward, letting his head thunk down to hit the table. He was so many different kinds of screwed.

:::

“You look like crap,” was the first thing out of Fili’s mouth when he saw Kili. Kili rolled his eyes and trudged off to a booth, uninterested in Fili’s opinions of his appearance. He knew he wasn't looking the best he could possibly look but it wasn't like he was a plague victim either. He just. Didn't care.

"Sorry," Fili offered as he sat down with two paper cups of coffee later. "That was uncalled for."

Kili fiddled with the cup. "It's fine? I do look like crap. Hard to care during the final crunch."

"That's right," Fili said, sipping his coffee. "It's almost finals time, isn't it?"

Kili snickered and lifted the cup to his mouth, taking a sip and then blinking down at it. "What?"

"You like?" Fili asked. He was trying very hard not to smile and Kili narrowed his eyes at Fili as he took another sip.

"What is it?" Kili asked instead, taking another sip.

"Spice cake," Fili said. "Lots of cinnamon and cloves."

Kili hummed softly and took another sip. "I like it." It was sharp and mellow, curling around Kili's taste buds. He took another sip and smiled at Fili over the lid of the cup. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"I think you're stressed and under caffeinated," Fili said. "A lot has happened in the past two weeks." He hesitated. "We, the neither of us, it's. We can't forget what happened, but maybe we can try and go on from before then?"

Kili fiddled with the cardboard sleeve around the cup. "Before?"

"We were friends," Fili said. "We are friends."

Kili looked down at his hands, biting his lip. "Okay, yeah. Friends. We are that."

"I doubt you want to...or maybe you." Fili stopped, taking a big sip of his coffee and coughing as he swallowed. "Okay. Uhm."

"Uhm?" Kili prompted. 

Fili squinted at him for moment and sighed. "Throw me a bone here?"

Kili took another sip of his coffee and rolled his shoulders, trying to relax. "Okay, so you want to do the friends thing. Friends with benefits? Friends?"

"Friends," Fili said firmly. He had an adorable little flush going on across the bridge of his nose and the tips of his ears. "I respect you too much to, to... I don't want to be Thranduil." Kili swallowed thickly, feeling like he'd just been punched in the stomach. "I like you, a lot. I think we have great chemistry together. But what happened? That's...not cool. It kind of ruined a lot of things all at once. So I want--"

Kili pushed his coffee to the side and leaned in, pulling Fili's face towards him and kissing him. It was supposed to be chaste, thankful, mild. Not something that had both of them leaning into each other, hands grabbing at each other, heads tilting and tongues tasting. It was explosive and want and need and desire crashed through Kili like wildfire but this was not, he couldn't just let it happen anymore. Not unless he was sure. It took every ounce of willpower to pull back, licking his lips, and sitting down. He tried not to look at Fili, going for his coffee cup and trying to get himself under control.

Fili stared at him, licking his lips. "So. Friends. Doing...friend things. With the. I."

"Friends, like before. And we, uh, move on passed that week. Save it for, you know, other stuff," Kili said.

Fili reached up, running his thumb over his bottom lip. "Right."

Kili took a big sip of coffee, feeling the way the warmth seemed to spread through him, around him, soaking him in taste and spice.

"Is the possibility still there?" Fili asked. He was fiddling with his cup, the cup holder moving up and down around the cup's bottom.

"Possibility?"

"For..." Fili took a deep breath. "Okay, confession time. I like you. Like, really like you. You, uh, have to have noticed that we're explosive together."

Kili nodded, drawing in a deep breath. "Yeah, I, uh. I noticed."

"So. I. I want to be your friend. I want to hang out and play video games and watch ridiculous movies and go see the Bruins and the Patriots play. I want to go to the bar and make total asses of ourselves and go on the T and get tossed off cuz we're too damned drunk."

Kili grinned at him.

"But, I think, what I want almost more than all of that? Is that after all of that? I want the chance to...to. I want that chance, Kili.”

Kili took a deep breath. “Okay, since we’re going with honesty and everything,” he said. He took another sip of the coffee, stalling slightly, shifting his weight and trying not to fidget. “Right now, no. I can’t. I’ve got my classes and everything’s just.” Kili reached up and ran a hand through his hair, cursing softly when it got tangled and pulled his hand free. “Life sucks right now. Everything that went down last month came at the worst possible time. I can’t take time off from class because my advisor says I’m too close, that it’d be academic suicide. So I have to focus on that. And there’s. There’s what happened.”

“With Thranduil?”

Kili tried to smile and slumped down in the booth when he knew it failed. “Yeah. I’ve got to try and work through everything that happened with that.”

“I’m not asking for now,” Fili said. There was a beat of hesitation and then Fili reached out and snagged Kili’s hand. “I want to be your friend, your actual friend. Not just...not just anything else.”

Kili looked down at their hands, twining their fingers together. “There is the possibility,” he said. “Just, just not right now.”

“All I want to know is if,” Fili said, squeezing. “I know how to wait for good things and, Kili? I think we’re a good thing. I think we can be a great thing.”

Kili kept his eyes on their fingers, their hands, twined together and solid, reassuring. “You have issues with cheating.”

“Yeah,” Fili said.

“I don’t know if… I’m.”

“I don’t think Thranduil was right,” Fili said. “The numbers he said and the way he said it, I don’t think he’s right. You stepping out on him with all those other people? Yeah, I. People have pled your case, saying that’s how you are and other things along those lines.”

“I sense a but,” Kili said, risking a look up at Fili. The blond was chewing his lip, looking nervous.

"But I don't think that's right," Fili said. He rolled his shoulders back and sat up straighter. "I think the reason you, you...do what you did is because he wasn't it for you. There was something missing and you were looking for it. And, arrogant as it sounds, I think I could be that for you."

Kili smiled a little. "That does sound arrogant."

"Maybe I'm really sure of myself," Fili said. "Maybe I think that we could be...there's a lot we could be and a lot of it could be good."

"And a lot of it could be very, very bad," Kili said.

Fili shrugged, squeezing the hand he still had. "It's worth it, isn't it? To try? Don't we owe ourselves at least that?"

Kili nodded, dropping his eyes to look at their hands and squeezing back. "Yeah, I, uh. Yeah."


End file.
